Greg Murat (mur-rah)
Singer-Songwriter Guitarist
Home Shows Bio Music Lyrics Poetry Video Audio
Journal June 2004
June 30,
2005
It is the end of June and it is a brand new day.
I will be spending the afternoon and evening with Erik Helmerson
at Triad Studios recording some music and being there for support.
Erik has so much enthusiasm and passion for music. He is a giant
Dave Matthews fan. This will be the first time I have heard
him play and I am looking forward to it. Any day in the studio
is a good day. Well, that may not always be true, but it should
be. We will be tinkering with a few of my songs too, I guess.
It seems to be a pretty free spirited session.
Yesterday afternoon I sat on the porch and played
and sang to Kayden for a couple of hours. He watched for a while
and then slept. I had fed him a bottle before the show-it is
always best to prime your audience. It was a lovely sunny afternoon
with a very light breeze blowing. Liz brought out one of those
1950's style canvas chairs that are like a large open mouth
waiting to swallow you when you sit down. Missy snuggled at
my side while I played my old beat up guitar. It is not much
to look at but so capable of emitting beautiful music. The summer
time makes our home a wonderland with the Wisteria, the Roses,
the ferns, the Dogwood blossoms. One can barely walk past the
lilac bush to the porch because it is so lush with leaves. I
love the maroon colored delicate leaves of the Japanese Maple
and little pond ( more like a puddle) surrounded by greenery.
The brick walk way is very charming to me. It was musician installed
and reflects the feel of the work of a drunken mason in the
18th century. Stroked by leaves and scents I approach the porch
and home. I love to sit on that porch and play my guitar and
sing. It is humble, but it is home. And home is the place for
a Red Painted Tugboat, and home is the place for me.
Nothing is so potent as the silent influence of a good example.
James Kent
June 29, 2005
I woke up this morning and as I slipped
into a sweater and gazed out on another chilly gray Washington
day, I thought of missed chances to show caring . I wish I had
known my mother better. I wish we had spent more time talking
about her life and her dreams. Now she is gone. Time is constantly
slipping through our fingers like hour glass sand. Caught in
cares and concerns that have no dimension or real meaning, it
is so easy to miss so much, while the people and things that
really matter slip to the end of the line. Many times continuous
cuts in line leave what really matters further and further back
in line away from our hearts and minds. Freedom says "we've
been wandering in the desert land for so long, when the Promised
Land was in our hands all along." The years pass and people
pass on and the chance to give them precious time is forever
gone. Having a full house with Josh, Christina, Liz and Kayden
and Andie and I is really a blessing. There is so much love,
I only want more time and more ways to show it and to share
it. Don't wait to say I love you.
We will not be remembered by
our words, but by our kind deeds.
Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments
that take our breath away.
June 28,
2005
Well we have all just about put another month in
our memories and there have certainly been some good memories
made this month. I am listening to some of those memories this
morning: Santiago & The Three Amigos, Larry, Carl and Garey.
It was fun to hear Garey's sense of humor once again. He remembered
referring to Make Peace With Yourself as Make Pizza Yourself.
Garey is an amazing bassist and recording engineer as well.
Larry sings great harmony. The Amigos were solid and their passion
for playing recorded well. I can't help but wonder what they
would sound like with Deirdre on harmony and banjo. I can hear
it and it's good. We have celebrated Larry's 50th birthday,
done our first rehearsed and tight band show, had our first
grandchild, Josh and Christina are bringing us our second grandchild
in late fall: in short it has not been a dull June.
Andie has had a very happy gleam in her eyes since
little Kayden arrived. She is so patient and loving with him.
We are both walking around like Zombies from lack of sleep but
it is worth it. Liz has been holding up to the task of caring
for a baby and adjusting to being a food producing milk machine.
It is a very unselfish and caring thing to do and she has not
complained.
I was taking inventory last night after the Birthday
Bash. It seems like whenever I volunteer for shows I end up
short of gear afterwards. This one wasn't a big deal. I lost
my microphone case and my clip on sunglasses. It is usually
microphone stands, chords or more. So it wasn't bad. We will
begin working on our next performance for Jimmy's air show at
the Arlington Airport on July 9th. Larry Mason will be playing
drums with us. That will be a kick. I wish I was in Florida
today with the Fickels playing my guitar and drinking Jolly
Man Rum, especially if I could take the whole gang along.
June 27, 2005
I heard from Chani and she is in the country in California
where she and Chris will be soaking up some relaxing time in
a natural hot springs. That seems to be something she loves
about Alaska too. I would love to have a hot tub. I am so sore
from jumping around at Larry Mason's party. I am getting too
old for that. It is a cool gray and rainy morning in the great
northwest. Jerry called from St. Louis complaining about the
heat and humidity. I like heat and humidity.
Mr. Kayden was up all night long and so was
Missy. I couldn't even look at her this morning, I would have
growled. I spent a leisurely Sunday mixing down Carl and Larry's
performance from the Birthday party. It will forever be a mystery
why our sets did not get recorded. I hit the button, saw the
bouncing meter but just like Jody Foster's trip into space,
there was nothing on the tape. Erased by aliens I guess.
Many, many years ago I walked into a hair
salon in Snohomish ready to lose my hippie hair style. I met
Larry Cronin and he taught me a lesson I remember to this day.
Although it had to do with how to comb your hair, it has had
application time and time again in my life. Keep in mind that
this took place a few lifetimes ago. Larry had black hair in
those days and a youthful passion for his work as a hair stylist.
He wore a block smock with pouches across the front that contained
numerous sizes and shapes of scissors. He knew the location
and use for each pair and he would withdraw them with the swiftness
of a gunslinger as he circled the barbers chair and then swooped
in for a snip here and a cut there. The whole experience was
new to me and I was fascinated by the precision of his work
and his ability to carry on a conversation at the same time
he was so intensely focused on shaping my lion's mane. This
was in the days of Loggins and Messina and the shear cut..
After the styling, blow drying and brushing out
I always felt like a rock star. The problem was I only looked
that way when I left Larry's chair and for the rest of that
day. So on one occasion when I was having my hair styled I complained
that I couldn't remember how to dry and brush my hair to make
it look like it did after he finished styling it. He turned
to me and said "You can't do it because it is not important
enough. You don't remember because it is not important enough
for you to learn and to do." That was one of those moments
in life I will always remember because Larry seemed to have
uncovered an over all flaw in my approach to life and the reason
I felt so much was lacking. Now whenever I find myself struggling
with learning something new, or taking on just about any task,
I remember that day and what Larry said. When I apply importance
to anything, consciously, I know I can do it, even if it is
hard. Thanks Larry.
June 26, 2005
Well even though it is Sunday it is funny because
I don't have that "where did the weekend go?" feeling.
I feel full and content and happy. Larry and Cindy Mason really
know how to throw a party. It was immeasurably wonderful to
see them again and be at the Love Shack. We got to see Larry,
Carl Funk and Garey Shelton play together. I recorded it for
Larry and it sounds great. Eric Tingstad did a set after them
and then it was Papa Murrah. We lovingly kicked booty. I think
that is one of the best shows I have ever been a part. Every
single player was on the mark, heart and soul. Jimmy did Unchain
My Heart and Christopher did You Can Leave Your Hat On and the
crowd loved it so much, they had to do each song twice. We ended
up with Valley Island Lady with Jimmy singing. In between we
did a rock solid set of my songs (19) that we had rehearsed
for two weeks. Even though John Matthews was unable to make
rehearsals he slam dunked his parts. Christopher Nickels wood
shedded hard and it showed when he played songs which included
two songs we just introduced just last week. Today is one of
those days when my face hurts from smiling. Mike Daily held
us steady and drove us hard on drums as did Jimmy Culler on
Bass. What a day. I am so thankful that all those musicians
came to give the gift of music to our friend on his birthday.
What a day it was.
I got to spend a couple of hours with my grandson this
morning while the girls were sleeping. We bonded. I love the
little fellow so much and thank God he is here to add his light
to our lives. It is a day I feel richly blessed to be alive
and so thankful for my friends and family. Thank you God for
my life.
I checked out my mini disk recorder and fortunately
I got all of Santiago's set, including Carl's song written just
for the occasion. That is all that was on the disc. Some how
it got nothing of our show. It was so good too. Next time.
June 25, 2005
It is a rainy Saturday, now why isn't
that surprising. I was going to sleep a little extra this morning
because I feel like I am about to blow a gasket but I got with
Andie and Kayden. I fed and burped and changed him. Then I talked
to him and sang to him for a couple of hours. He is pretty entertaining.
We are off to Larry Mason's to play for his party. Ron has gone
to Kenny Loggins and Manolito doesn't answer his phone so we
are doing a four piece. It may be five if John Matthews shows
up to play percussion. I hope so. We are ready for some fun
and a little celebration on the island. It is nice in the course
of the day to day to stop and spend some time with friends and
when the opportunity to celebrate together comes, jump in with
both feet.
June 23, 2005
Another fine Friday and one with a night off. It seems both
strange and good when I have a Friday evening free. We will
be visiting Larry and Cindy Mason for Larry's birthday party
and the band will be doing two sets. It will be fun. Andie is
trying to decide if she wants to take Kayden on his first road
trip and to his first grandpa concert. I hope it is sunny this
weekend and we have a nice show. We have been working hard.
Anytime we have a show it is hard to decide which songs to play.
It seems like there is never enough time. Life seems that way
too. I sometimes feel like I am looking out the window of a
train and time is the countryside passing by my window in a
blur taking my numbered days with it, faster and faster. Still,
I am enjoying he view.
Argue for your limitations and
they are yours. Richard Bach
June 23, 2005
Meditation is good for the soul. The stopping
of all thoughts is amazingly challenging for me. Even when I
reflect on writing, even when I am trying to pray, my mind wanders.
Stillness and quiet are both great achievements in our minds
and in our lives. Having a new baby in the house creates an
almost meditative state as Andie and I sit and watch him sleep
and ladle love on this new life with all his possibilities.
Time really does fly. It seems like only moments ago, Freedom,
Sarah Maria, Josh, Chani and Liz were as little. What is the
sound of one hand clapping? It it is the sound of a baby laughing.
Though reading and conversation may furnish us
with many ideas of men and things, our own meditation must form
our judgment. Isaac Watts (Thanks Dale)
June 22, 2005
Midweek and all is well. I was playing the
traffic game yesterday, two and one half hours to go 45 miles.
It is really hard not to be stressed when you just want to go
home. When I arrived Liz handed me Kayden and said he is clean
and fed and dry. This is hard on our little dog because this
is taking her one on one time with me for snuggling. She is
being a good sport though. She gets my attention when the girls
are around.
I heard some new stuff Josh is writing on
guitar. It sounds very good. He has such a good sense of melody.
As I was turning in last night I heard him talking to Phil Whitman
out on the porch. I hope they are following though on their
opera.
Today I hope to put some music into the hands
of a group that is doing a presentation on domestic violence.
I have a CD with Far Cry From Love on it that I would love to
put into their hands. I really feel that particular song could
save someone's life. Take back your life. This is the one we
have. The one that will be over before we know it. Renew it
often. Wake up and live.
Decide that
you want it more than you are afraid of it. Bill Cosby
June 21, 2005
The weekend approaches, well, actually it
is only Tuesday but somehow I just feel like the weekend is
almost here. There is a great deal of joy in our little abode
with this new little angel, Kayden. Andie just beams when she
is holding him. I pick him up and he is immediately asleep.
That comes in handy sometimes. He is taking up our time these
days but it is a good thing.
Christina is growing a big baby I think. She
says she thinks so too because she is so hungry and is eating
so much. Josh doesn't say a lot. He spends a lot of time playing
guitar although still not with me. I had hoped to have him play
for Larry's birthday party but he showed no real interest. Bummer
for me. He is working on his writing though and that is always
a good thing. I think it is just one of those strange things
about relatives who are composers. At least in our house that
means being more focused on writing your own rather than learning
a family member's songs.
We had another rehearsal for the Larry's last
night. I think we all showed up running on fumes. Still we had
some moments. I hope Wednesday is better and we are more rested
and have more fun. I am working up the set list. Music flow
is important on a CD or at a concert. I have mostly pulled songs
out of the air but the shows I really planned are the ones that
came off the best. It like the old saying: he who fails to plan,
plans to fail. I am looking forward to seeing Larry and Cindy
a lot. I have missed them. They really showed us a lot of kindness.
They are good people. We know a bunch of them. That is a good
thing: a daily top five blessing.
June 20, 2005
Wow we are just 6 days from Larry Mason's birthday
party. I am really looking forward to the chance to play with
some of the band. Mike Daily on drums will be a welcome change
from the unplugged and undrummed version of every song. We are
planning a hot set of happy tunes: beaching music. I will be
thinking of the Fickels in Florida while we are playing our
sunny songs. I love the picture of Kayden smiling. I wanted
Andie to slice me out because me big head is taking up too much
space. It does give you a perspective of just how tiny he is.
Sarah was so cute yesterday. She learned how to hold and feed
him. It was great to see. It was a nice father's day. I had
a good phone visit with Freedom. I wish he would come home to
stay. I missed Chani's call. I talked to my father and my sister
Maria. Rob, one of my adopted sons, called to wish me happy
father's day. We had a lovely meal with Josh and Christina present
too. Next time I want Sarah, Josh and I to play some guitar
together. There was a bit of strangeness in the air but overall
it was simply a lovely day.
The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.
Satchell Paige
June
19, 2005
Kayden
is home and happy. He is eating like crazy, I should say nursing.
I fed him this morning but I used a bottle. Andie is going to
shoot some new pictures because Kathy was telling me she wants
more pictures on the web. I will get to that as soon as I get
the photos. I am so glad he is better. I went to work at the
Cafe last night and when I finished Nicole stopped me and told
me she had something for Kayden. She handed me a beautiful afghan
that she had knitted herself. I was so surprised and touched
I could hardly speak. I will be putting a picture with him in
the blanket up today I hope.
We were so happy to talk to Terri and Randy
in Florida yesterday. They are all down in Clearwater enjoying
the beautiful weather and beach. I wish we were there too. Happy
father's day to all you Dad's. What a blessing it is to be a
father and grand papa is pretty good too. I
worked on the Seattle
Pro Audio website this morning and I am taking the rest
of the day off. Have a great one. We will talk soon.
June 18, 2005
Kayden is still
in the hospital. He is regaining color and making some improvements
but we are not sure if he will have to stay another night or
not. I am off. Keep him in your prayers please.
June 17, 2005
Part 4. 11 PM Late in the night
and the girls have taken Kayden to the hospital to spend the
night getting a tan. Prayers please. We are not sure what exactly
is wrong, but he needs to be there for a day to see if he is
growing properly and because he is so yellow. Rarely simple,
huh?
I am listening to Grateful Dead concert on
PBS. They say you had to be there, I believe they are right.
I suspect had I been at on of their concerts, I would have been
a big fan. I do see, and know, the wonder of sharing the experience
of music with fans, not as many, but you know what? Everyone
counts the same. I love the "jam" aspect of the GD.
That is what we have mostly done for live performances. All
of the people who have played music with me over the years have
had a great ability to play new songs on the spot and add their
own flavor to what is happening musically. Those have been the
most, as Bill Spies would say," present" moments of
my life . When you are tuned into the flow of what is happening
at the moment making music magic, there is nothing like it.
Nothing.
Part
3. 5PM Late in the day now and I am at home wondering what to do with myself
since I am not playing. I need to play on Friday nights. I started
picturing the band doing shows last night. It was a nice picture.
Cafe de Paris is closed tonight for Crystal's graduation. She
has worked very hard and I am sure the whole family is very proud
of her. Josh has been making good use of the gazebo and playing
guitar for hours and hours a day. That is a good thing. I am sure
he wishes Phil was here now. I heard some of their music and it
is sounding good. It just needs to be engineered better so they
can move forward. Andie is with Liz and Kayden and they are spending
the evening at the hospital again getting Kayden checked out because
he is so yellow and getting more so. That reminds me of a song
but I won't go there.
Part 2 10AM. Okay,
I am waking up now. Phil Whitman came over last night to jam with
Josh. Those two friends have a special chemistry and I am glad
to see them writing together. Phil is going through some real
challenges now and could use your prayers. Hey throw Josh in there
while you are at it please. They are working on a rock opera they
have talked about for a few years now.
I also heard from Chani. I thought maybe something
was wrong and when she responded to my e-mail she said she had
fallen on her bike and was laid up. She didn't give any details
but I got the feeling she got banged up pretty good. She said
she couldn't go anywhere. She is in our prayers too.
Part 1. 5:30 AM I am crispy critters
this morning. Too much to do and too little sleep has me feeling
punch drunk. I don't have a lot to say this early morning as I
get a bit discouraged when I am weary. I wish we had more rehearsal
time and less other things to do besides music. I felt a tiny
bit of hopelessness last night at our weariness and tardiness
and forgetfulness. We had some great moments of harmony and Christopher
has some unique ideas on some old Hamilton Murat songs. Conflicting
schedules make much more rehearsal before Larry's party difficult.
Well, we will have Monday and Wednesday and I was thinking we
could sit around and play acoustics and harmonize during the day
up at the Love Shack. It will be fun.
Kayden put a scare into Andie yesterday. She
is having a terribly difficult time going off to work and leaving
Kayden and Liz. He was fussy and the girls were frustrated but
it all worked out and by the time I saw him he looked like the
above picture, sleeping beauty.
I talked to my sister Maria yesterday and it
seems like we could play one ups on all the chaos that transpires
in our lives. Stay calm in the storm. Stay calm in the storm.
Stay calm.
June 16, 2005
Change is something that
is easy to resist. If fear is the dark room where negatives are
developed then I am positive that courage is the sunlight room.
Life is possibilities. We are all so much more than flesh and
bones. We are spirit. We have an interconnection with every other
living thing. We have a connection to God. I don't really believe
in fate. Fate is mostly the failure to take action. If we are
open to possibilities, possibilities will open to us. This is
my little morning pep talk to prepare me for a future that is
shrouded in a veil of undefined opportunities. Caring for the
new little member of our family, finding a way to make it possible
for Andie to retire from her work and changing business direction
is the focus of our goal planning priorities. Making music is
always a part of these plans and I feel a batch of new songs brewing
like a fresh pot of Starbucks coffee. I feel like there are good
possibilities for the band. The view is clearing slowly as the
morning fog lifts. I need a change.
My barn having burned to the ground, I can see the moon. Chinese Proverb
June
15, 2005
Sleep is illusive
with a new baby in the house, especially for Andie. She has been
looking after everyone and getting worn out in the process. I
think I must be getting used to running on empty because other
than being scatter brained, I feel fine. It is so amazing to look
at the brand new little human and think of all the babies that
don't get a chance to live and be loved. I am so grateful he made
it and that Liz made the choice she made. There is music stirring
over all this I will tell you right now. Words and thoughts don't
form clearly when I am sitting and holding this little one. It
is a spiritual and calm place with angels looking on and smiling.
It is a reminder of the wonder of this time with all of the children
who have blessed my life. What an incredible honor, to have the
care of a brand new spirit placed in your life and your hands..
Tired? You bet but I wouldn't trade this time for all the money
or sleep in the world..
.
June
14, 2005
Is this month passing fast? It seems like it. Kayden tried some
Thai food a la breast milk last night and he was not a happy camper.
I held him for hours in the after noon before that happened and
just watched him sleeping. When he awakened in the night Andie
was able to soothe him right down. She has that gift of comfort.
Josh loves to hold him. Last night Andie was the only one who
could calm Kayden down. Liz is being a very good new mom. Maturity
in bloom. It is really somewhat amazing to see. We are all looking
forward to Josh and Christina making the number of grandchildren
two. The joy of new life and all its potential.
Life is the movie you see through your own eyes. It makes little difference what's happening out there. It's how you take it that counts. Denis Waitley. Thanks for the quote Dale..
June
13, 2005
Baby is sleeping in grandpapa's arms now. He gave me a manly burp
after Liz fed him and out he went. He is so beautiful. It is better
than watching your favorite movie just sitting and watching him
sleep. We had a wonderful gathering last night in celebration
on his birth. We played music and had much of the extended family
here, old and new. I am feeling worn but in a good way. That is
all the one handed typing I can manage at this time. Thanks to
Kim and Provinces for all the great gifts. Sharon & Clay thanks
for signing the guest book. It is everything you said it would
be Sharon. So much love to you for your support. Bye for now. Kayden Slides
June
12, 2005
It is 4:20 in the morning and little puppy is asleep on the bed
on her heating pad. Liz and Andie are still at the hospital. I
needed some serious sleep still, although I am still awake. My
mind is racing. It has been an intense weekend: new grandchild
or nephew or whatever, gigs, calls, friends, being alone two nights
in a row. That has almost never happened; actually it has never
happened except the week I spent on a business trip for training.
I hope this is not the shape of things to come.
Josh and Christina made it up to the hospital yesterday
to see Kayden, Andie and Liz. Josh looked so beautiful holding
the baby. All that good heart he has was shining on his face.
We got a chance to visit when I left to head out for my gigs.
Josh is a great guy. He got a lot of good and bad from me and
I pray the Lord will bless him so he can see how wonderful he
can be. When we look outside ourselves to see who we are we can
be greatly disappointed. If a person has a low self image they
can tend to draw people into their lives who will reinforce that
idea. But life is always balance, so if we pay attention we can
see there are plenty of people who come along who can help us
see the good in us.
This weekend I have felt kind of low and Christopher,
on Friday and Mia, last night shared the fact that this music
has touched their lives and helped them in different ways. I remember
my friend Vicki, who filmed a solo performance I did for a Northwest
Songwriters Showcase. She said she was healed by Love Is Kind.
I know that God gave me the gift of healing. My life has been
more a series of breaking things and hoping they will be fixed
in the end. I also have moments of fixing things. Did you ever
straighten a drawer full of clothes, fold and stack them neatly
and then tear through them and undo every thing you did by looking
for one piece of clothing? That's been my life as I saw it. The
funny thing is that a lot of times people who tried to love me
got burned in the brush fire I set unconsciously. Andie is amazing
in her ability to just love me, and she has seen it all. How come?
God knows. How come I have played "solo" gigs (as in
pay for one person) for years and years and years and was blessed
by friends like Jimmy Culler, Dale Fuentes, Jamie Phalen, Christopher
Nickels, Mike Daily, John Matthews, Doug Hamilton, Scottie Drexler,
Ronnie Illanis, Dave Noren, Gordan Uchima, Paul Demming and a
host of others have made it all magic and did it all for free.
It is, at this late stage in the game, occurring to me that if
we were to play bigger venues more people would see and hear the
music and more people would get paid. Wow! No one can accuse me
of being too fast. I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer,
but I have a sharpener. So I am a weary grandpa, papa Murat. Bon
Sois. If you hear a grinding sound in the night, that is me sharpening
my wit
Friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine
of life. And thanks to a benevolent arrangement of things, the
greater part of life is sunshine.
Thomas Jefferson .
June
10, 2005
Kayden Anthony
Luke was born Saturday afternoon and weighed in at under 6 pounds.
Elizabeth's mom, Theresa was the first to see him. Liz didn't
want any of us in the room with her once she started to push so
we missed the whole delivery. Once we got a chance to glimpse
his squished little face, he was pretty cute. He looked hungry
and naturally inclined to begin breast feeding right away. The
doctor said wait an hour and Kayden was making his displeasure
known at the time I left to go to play at Provinces. I have been
awake since 5 AM Thursday morning so I am thinking this is pretty
much like an acid trip. My thoughts are on the left side of crazy.
I'm proud of Liz for insisting on getting what she wanted. It
makes the arrival seem a bit dream like having been isolated from
the birth but sleep will probably help that. While he was crying
I whispered to the top of his head that his grandpa was going
to help take care of him and he was going to be fine. He stopped
crying right away but began again when I stopped speaking. Was
it something I said?. Welcome to the world.
A little
after 4 AM Liz and I finished our last game of Sequence. She kicked
my bottom pretty quickly and I think she was a bit bored. Her
contractions were coming about every three minutes but she was
pain free . Well except for the 5 holes the nurses put in her
arm trying to find a vein. Hospitals are scary places when you
think some nurses made A's, some made B's, C's and D's. That variance
in competency is a bit daunting. Liz has been nothing short of
amazing. Her patience with being poked and prodded was wearing
thin just past four this morning however. It looks like we are
in for the long hall as Kayden does not seem to be in any hurry
to join us here on the outside Andie was getting some much needed
sleep last night. I told Liz I had to leave for a while to go
get some work done. She said, "No! Don't go! Why do you have
to work?" I said, "So we can buy food." She said,
"Go!" She loves to eat. So as of 8:39 AM June the 10th
Kayden is still waitin' to be born.
When you judge others, you define
yourself.
June
9, 2005
It is 4 PM and still no word from
the hospital on what is going to happen now? Will it be tonight
or tomorrow. We don't know!
They called from the hospital
and have put Liz back until this afternoon or even for inducing
labor. Now my opinion of scheduled delivery is gone to hell. I,
and several other people, took the day off to be at the hospital
for Liz and now Kayden won't be beginning his journey until late
tonight or in the day tomorrow. I have three jobs tomorrow so
I won't be able to be there. So much for scheduled deliveries.
One of Andie's friends who is 80 years old said,
"There is nothing more important than welcoming a new baby
to a family. And there is no smell in the world like the smell
of a baby" He is still young at heart I would say.
Josh called to offer his and Christina's support and offered to
be at the hospital too. I was touched by that offer and hope they
will, whenever that is going to be. It could turn out to be quite
an entourage that shows up. Time will tell. Here we go, eventually.
Music is all about involving the audience; making them feel a
part of it If you don't do that why play music. Aaron Ewing
June
7, 2005
What a work out I am having.
I had the web site moved to a new server and I have to reload
over 3,000 files so it is taking a while. The last to come back
will be the 60 folders of photographs. I guess this might have
been a good time to clean things up a bit and I may yet do that.
Two days left till Kayden arrives. It is going to be exciting
around here. I may be pacing the floor and uploading files at
the same time Liz is in labor. It could turn out to be a zoo at
the hospital but I hope not. It is hard to tell how many people
are going to show up but I am pretty sure Liz doesn't want too
many people in the delivery area. You never know what will happen
when the drugs hit though. I don't think the plan is to go clean
and sober into labor. Medication has been brought a few times.
We will all be there, whoever we is. Thanks to my friend Dale
who keeps a sharp eye on the website and lets me know when I goof
up.
Andie is making fun of my as I type in "whine-neese".
That is it. I am back to work. Beam me up Scottie.
June
6, 2005
Possibilities are endless. I just read
that the most handicapped person in the world is a negative thinker.
Nuh uh. Just kidding. I think so much sometimes it hurts my brain.
It is pretty quiet around the house. I think there is lots of
reflection taking place. That was true even during the visit with
Noel and Lois. Kayden goes from inner to outer space in just a
few days. We go from being just parents to being grand. No matter
how much I think about it I still haven't been able to grasp the
fact. Life is a teeter totter between the losses and the gains;
children represent the biggest example of that and now here we
go. The blessing of having a stewardship for a time of ushering
new life into the world and setting them free to make their way
is one the greatest rewards and challenges of life. Children and
parents will always have each other just as we always carry the
child we were inside of our own hearts. If Einstein said he thought
months and years and was wrong 99 percent of the time maybe we
can change our childhood for the better by changing the way we
think about and remember it. It is never too late to have a happy
childhood. Sometimes it takes a lifetime.
The mind is like a
parachute. It works best when it is open.
June
5, 2005
The shower was great
at the church and Andie and Liz are seated in the living room
almost buried in goodies for Kayden. Andie is putting together
a swing for him right now. Andie looks like she feels better having
seen some old friend. We love Jane Parker a bunch as she is always
so full of life. I miss her face and many others. Pastor's wife
Kathy didn't make it to the shower but so many people did. Thanks
to them all.
Sunday and it is Liz's baby shower
day. It is being held at Lake Steven's Covenant Church where we
used to go. We need a place to gather and it has not happened
in a long time. Our spirits get their nurturing from the Vesper
Services in Bellingham once a month and now that is done for the
summer. I miss a lot of the people at Lake Stevens but I wasn't
feeling right there. I think what I perceived as so much back
ground bickering and people struggling with control issues pushed
me away. But I am not sure that was the right thing to do. People
aren't cutting our heads off for believing in Jesus, at least
in Machias at the moment. So I guess things aren't really that
bad. The issues are probably mostly mine. The line in the Bible
about taking the beam out of your own eye before you worry about
the tiny piece in your neighbor's eye really has a lot of relevance
for me. I have what I think is 20 20 vision when scrutinizing
someone else, I probably need glasses when evaluating my own self.
I think for many of us our personal views are often much too harsh
and unforgiving. That kind of thinking leads to all kinds of destructive
behavior. Better to be kind. Better to listen when speaking to
yourself and turn down the harsh knob and equalize the negative
with some positive. When all else fails, ask God. He knows more
than Jeeves.
All this trying leads up to the point you turn to God and say, "You must do this. I can't." C.S. Lewis
June
4, 2005
I have back pain and I
was wondering where it began. I then thought that recently my
father was suffering back pain as well. His pain seemed to have
resulted from emotions associated with trying to get some belongings
from someone who seemed reluctant or unwilling to return them.
He gave it up to God and I got involved and hence the back pain.
I realized at the point I started fretting over this stuff that
I developed this nearly debilitating pain in my low back. It is
funny how emotions tend to seek that particular spot. Now that
I have figured that out, how do I get rid of it. A trip to the
chiropractor would be a good idea because I think I have pretty
firmly established this symptom as a physical reality.
.On a happy note I see Chani sent me some love in a note
in the guest book. (I am moving the website to a new server so
there may be a few glitches coming along. Keep me posted.) It
was good to hear from Chani. She is a love; one of the many traveling
Murat's.
I have gotten good feedback on the Cafe de
Paris website so far. I could sit around and build websites all
day.
We are having a nice visit with Andie's dad
and Lois. It was a fun evening for them but I was playing at the
Cafe and only got a brief visit in the afternoon before playing.
It is amazing the differences in the way families interact. I
am grateful for the kindness that mostly prevails in Andie's family.
It is all good as they say. I am looking forward to Provinces
this coming weekend. Christopher confirmed that he will be there.
I will be a one day old grandpa on that Friday. Look out!.
Life don't pass me by. I have seen how time can fly. And I think
maybe love can survive
All of the struggles of being alive, but we need to be knowing
Where are we going? Where are we going? Greg Murat
June
3, 2005
So, the realization that a new baby, Kayden, will be taking over
the household as of Thursday, June 9th is slowly beginning to
sink into my head. Who knew? Our friend Sharon from Chicago has
been the most encouraging of anyone regarding being a grandparent.
I have really appreciated her e-mails in that regard. Memory paints
a picture of a tempestuous family life growing up. I was sure
I had all the answers right up until I was tagged "parent."
All that mental preparation flew out the window soon after Aaron
was born.. If we knew all the pain that love and family could
cause I wonder if we would run off into the night screaming to
avoid them. Probably so. That is unless we were also shown how
much joy and fulfillment that comes from loving and being loved,
from nurturing and caring for someone else, even more than for
yourself. We know of some grandchildren who did not have the opportunity
to be born and to experience life in all of its wonder. I am grateful
that Kayden is coming and look forward to welcoming him with open
arms. I trust that God will help him find his porpoise, I mean
purpose.
Measure yourself by your best moments,
not by your worst. We are too prone to judge ourselves by our
moments of despondency and depression.
Robert Johnson
June
2, 2005
I have ridden a roller coaster for a few days on the waves of
some wounding memories. I am better now, As I coast to the end
of the ride I am grateful for my family. Thank God for Andie and
the patience she shows me when I wrestle demons from the past
and send them packing. Thanks for Liz who as of Thursday June
9th will be holding little Kayden. She has matured in so many
ways and represents a fine balance of part young woman and part
young girl. That is the balance of our household these days, just
the three and soon to be four of us. Josh and his friend Christina
come and go from time to time. We don't really know what they
are doing but our thoughts are with them. We hope they are at
peace with each other and the world. They will be parents in about
6 months and that will make us grand parents twice in one year.
We haven't heard from them in a week or so so we turn them over
to "Spirit" as they say. Chani, I believe, is in Lake
Chelan but I am not really sure. Sarah is busy with her film (see
link below) and advising me on some Bosa Nova arrangements for
an acoustic recording series. Freedom is buying a house in Arizona
and getting tanned. My relatives are mostly a coast away and that
is a good thing I think. We are not the Clevers for sure. Let
the past be past so that we don't miss our lives passing by while
we wander lost in the dream that is yesterday. There is a lot
we can do to improve the planet if we don't waste our talents
and strengths replaying things others said to us that shaped our
early lives in negative ways. It is never too early to start being
nice to yourself..
Life is a mirror; if you frown at it, it frowns back; if you smile,
it returns the greeting. William Thackeray
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Greg Murat (mur-rah)
Singer-Songwriter Guitarist