Greg Murat (mur-rah)
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Journal November 2003 Journal Archive Flash Poem Archive
November 30 Last night was much music and good food at Provs. It was reminiscent of times that seem long ago and included many familiar faces. As I listened to Dave Noran talk about moving back here I thought of how Andie and I have considered moving away. We like the city and the country and would really like to have both. So much culture in the city but so fast passed. Kathy and Dale have the best of both worlds right in Seattle. I love visiting their home and them. The funny thing about seeing people at musical events is that is very difficult to talk to anyone. There is so much going on with all the people and the music that I get carried away and almost overwhelmed by it. It almost feels like looking through a curtain into another room. Maybe it is just a sensory overload response. At times I feel that way about Washington and that leads to talk of moving. We love the San Juan's but business isn't exactly booming up there. As for now, here we are and with so much music and art to be made it looks like here we will stay.
November 29 Tonight should be fun with old friends back in town. I feel lately likely we have fallen back in time to another era with all the people in the house sleeping on the floor in the living room and the studio. It is kind of wild. Last night was strange because our kitchen was taken over and we were barely greeted by our guests. Being from the south I often struggle with what appears to me to be an absence of manners and courtesy. There was some very different energy in the house last night that made me want to be somewhere else. I love having the family expanded for the time and know it will be over too soon. Still last night was not my favorite. I was impressed by Andie's nonchalance when the two ladies took over the kitchen and began cranking the oven and preparing pizzas without out even acknowledging Andie. She did offer to help at the point the Pizzas were burning. It is a different world these days. Everyone sleeps all day around here so I think I may go crazy with time off and the inability to get to my studio and get some things done. I had actually hoped to knock out a new acoustic CD for Christmas but I am guessing that will be a challenge. I really hope for some time to talk with Freedom one on one before he goes. The same is true for Josh. There a lot about each of our perspectives of the past that we do not know. Always come from Love and let the healing continue.
November 26 How time has been flying by. I seem to get the blues around the holidays every year. I have tried to put my finger on it but no information is available. Work is very, very busy. I feel like Andie does most days: hardly time to go to the bathroom. I try not to stress but at times it is easier said than done. We had early Thanksgiving since the whole family had other plans for Thanksgiving day. The "boys" are up all night every night trying to finish their CD by the first. They are struggling with computer problems. What a pain that can be. I really hope I can get some Christmas spirit this year and remember the magic of the season, the magic and the reason for the season. I try and have some energy left at the day's end but I often feel spent and lifeless. It is truly time for a change and redirection. I am loving having Freedom, Josh and Rob working on music in the studio every day. I would like to spend more time in there with them. I did spend a few long nights and early mornings and it was great but I was dragging for a few days afterwards. I touch my guitar often only on Friday night when I go to Cafe de Paris. I am glad there will be a few days off as I am having a bit of a dark period here. Still life goes on and the season of happy holidays is upon us. I am thankful for faith, friends and family.
November 17 This new day I am happy to have so much fullness in my life. Time and conversation with Freedom make me reflect on my years on the planet. He is an old soul and has so much to say. I think I have laced so many memories of my past with pain that I don't spend much time reflecting on the things I have experienced. He has shown some light upon the happy memories of his early years. I recall the mind set I had after I survived my time in Viet Nam. I used to pick flowers and stopped often to reflect on the beauty around me and the preciousness of life. Aaron and I would hike for hours when he was a baby. I carried him in a baby back pack and we spent many quiet and reflective moments together. Back then I saw all the possibilities of life summed up in the saying I often heard in Thailand, "It's up to you." After all these years Andie and I are approaching the time for the two of us and the possibilities of being free to chose where and what to do from there. It is up to us. It is interesting to think about what will be. As for now the house is full with Josh, Freedom and Liz and their friends are visiting. Our house seems very small at times but when everyone scatters with the wind it seems huge. So many of Andie and my conversations are centered on the "kids" and how to help them in their lives. We all have our own paths to walk and I have to remind myself of that often. As parents we want to save our children from paths that we see as dangerous or dead-end. In the end we simply have to just love them, pray for them and let them go. Still there are the times like these when they are home again for a bit and it is both bitter and sweet. Just like life can be. If we are present in the moments we share we build on our grown up relationships and that is a wonderful thing.
November 12 Freedom and I spent an evening at Silent T last night and recorded a tune he decided to call To You. I love the tune, it is dreamy. It is an interesting time having Josh and Freedom here at the house and I love getting to spend some time with the two of them together. We are all unique in this world but the Murat's have a bit of twisted humor that is great for breaking tension. It can get pretty silly with the Three Amigos hanging out together. Everyday we wonder what will happen with the Love Israel Farm. I can't imagine not having a Garlic Festival after becoming involved with it three years ago. My sons stay out there quite a bit and I am coming to know and love the family. I hope things work out and I wish we were doing something to make it happen. Andie and I love to jump into projects and we do great under pressure and deadlines. We just don't know what we could do in this situation.
Today I am missing the Fickels and wish we could sit down and visit and have a few laughs.
We are all making progress with our world weary backs and necks thanks to Dr. James Burton. As for me I am battling this creeping crud that has been going around. It is me and silver water gel against the virus. We are tied today, but I will be ahead by tomorrow.
November 10 Another day, in a seamless stream of days, has begun. It is a time when lots of the family is around except as always, Chani. We miss her. Sarah is busy but I still get to see her each week when we go see Dr. Jim Burton and get our aching necks and backs adjusted. She is looking so much better since we began these treatments. She doesn't look pain weary anymore. Josh, Freedom and Rob are hanging at the home front while they work on completing their CD. Rob and Freedom are, Josh is still inclined towards watching TV when he is at our house. The plans are for him to do some guitar work on the CD as well. Liz was a huge help at the winery this weekend and so was Andie. One of things I enjoyed the most this weekend was the three of us teaming up and doing the job together. It made my heart feel good.
I am thinking about how relationships change over time and how important it is to work through things and get closure as we go. I see so many people that go through crisis and conflict and then "make up". That is great drama, however, if whatever was wrong isn't resolved that process seems to go on and on until the last big blowup and all that baggage from the past comes crashing down on their hearts and heads and it is over. The way we treat one another is so important too. I am grateful for the fact that Andie and I treat each other with kindness and respect even if we disagree and even if we are mad. We change like everyone else but we team up for whatever we face in life and I am glad for that and it makes the idea of change a good one.
November 6 Today is the first time Freedom and Rob are coming over to check out the studio. Once again I was so impressed with the power of their up and coming CD. It is so good to have Freedom back in the state and have the chance to spend some time with him. His writing just keeps on improving and becoming more and more strong. It is a glorious sunny and very cold day here in the great Northwest. Family is the reason we stay here and days like today are special added sparkles to our lives.
November 4 I felt the sting of the coming cold season on my cheeks this morning. I remember last year when I walked outside in the darkness of winter I heard a crashing in the yard next to our house and a cougar came flying over the fence. It moved so fast I couldn't tell what it was, so I hoped in the car and raced down the road after it. Running full boar next to my car was this powerful cat. Its shoulders were level with the hood of my car. Its muscles rippled as it ran alongside and easily keep pace with me. It careened over the embankment and ran off into the woods. I remember being glad I was in the car and not out on the road. I also added the experience to the memory of the many times my guardian angel has kept me from harm. I could have easily been a snacky cake for the cougar had it turned on me instead of running. Still I am always a little wary on the way to the car when it is dark outside. The memory of the cougar and the frosty air chase away all sleepiness and I am on way to a brand new day,and another new beginning.
November 2 It is already November and so very cold. I am so thrilled to get good tidings from Ohio! I am looking forward to the next Fickel Murat get together. The message at church today was never give up! Never give up! Never give up! I was going to stay home but as it turns out I am glad I went. There are so many times in life when we stumble or are knocked down hard. When we get up, dust off and go on we can make new strides forward and learn from our pain. Every day is truly a new beginning. I have been working on singing a demo of a few of Casey Garland's tunes and I realize there is a challenge for me in the studio and often on the stage. How to let go and let the emotion flow through my music. I keep stumbling on this one, I can hit the notes and play the chords but there is something missing. So I fall hard, dust off and it is time to give it another go. Never give up.
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