November 30, 2006
If you find a path with no obstacles it probably doesn't lead anywhere.
Frank A. Clark
.If today's quote is true I have to believe we are definitely headed somewhere, I just hope it is a good place. The snow, they say, is due to go away today, however I don't see any signs of that here in the countryside. I see on TV the roads look pretty good. The nasty ice coating is giving way to slush.
I spent a while on the phone with Freedom and Natalie last night talking about music, life and how to make Cubase work. We got as far as getting it to record but I was burned out by then so we didn't fix a problem with latency. Latency is weird thing that occurs with computers: you hear your voice just slightly after you sing. Definitely not the way to try and record if you have had a few cocktails for sure. So Rob is working on the song in Bellingham and I am working on it here and Freedom is working on it in Sedona. I just think that is so cool. Now once we get Josh hooked up with a way to record at home we will be set to go for the long distance band.
Chani said she will try to make it out for a visit soon and then we can hook her up to the recording stuff and guitar toys and let her have some fun. She is coming right along and said she has written a new song as well.
I am playing at the Gage Art Center in Seattle from 10AM until 1PM on Saturday as part of a fund raiser. Sarah will be posing while I play. It should be fun. It is an unplugged performance, as in no nothing just guitar and air. That is my story and I sticking to it.
November 28, 2006
Kindness can become its own motive. We are made kind by being kind.
I love the snow like anyone, as long as I am not out driving in it. Like my friend Jimmy Culler says, it is not the snow that bothers me it is the people who don't know how to drive in it. I am thankful to be able to stay home for this part of the snowy weather. I always do. There was one time when I was working in Seattle that I drove to Lake City and it took me three and one half hours. I got to work and thought this is ridiculous and I got in my car and went back home. Now I just skip to the being at home part and forget about taking a drive.
The first night it snowed I got a few clips of Kayden outside playing in it. We went outside just as it was getting dark. He loved it. He ran and reached down and grabbed little handfuls and threw them. We both got in trouble for bringing snow balls into the house. Tani, Rob and Raynan were stranded here after the first night. As Tani said they were no so much snowed in here as they were snowed out of Bellingham. Rob, Tani and I went to the Tractor Tavern to see Flowmotion play on Saturday night. What a show they put on. It was standing room only and the crowd was wild for the music. Chani came down and I saw her front stage and got her to come over behind the chain that blocked off the band area. So she got to go back and side stage. She looked so happy watching them play. It reminded me of times when she was a little girl swinging on a swing or roller skating: pure joy.
The snow dumped out here. It caved in and ruined one of our gazebos and I am hoping it warms today so the snow on the room will melt. It is too slippery to stand on and shovel. Still somehow it needs to get off there. Rob drove to Bellingham with the rest of the gang yesterday afternoon. He made it to Tenzin's and Clarity's but then was stuck in the driveway and couldn't get back out. He said he drove through snow drifts as tall as his mini van. Twenty inches of snow fell on Bellingham in just over a day. This must be the other side of global warming. There is always balance.
I have continued to do work on Freedom's website and it is nice that we talk on the phone nearly everyday. Rob and I are both recording tracks of one of Joules Graves songs so Freedom can sing it. We started the project here and are going to exchange MP3's over the web until it is ready for Freedom's vocals.
Andie is busy with her Mary Kay business. She was giving Faith and Tani facials or whatever they call it when woman play with make up. They were having fun. Andie brought home a stack of things for me to try out for her. It is some kind of skin care line. It is probably a little late for anti aging products but what the heck.
November 24, 2006
There shall be eternal summer in the grateful heart.
We never made to either Kathy and Dale's or Jason and Blu's yesterday. Babies change every thing. What can you do? Between naps and night night there isn't much room for socializing. We did stop by to see Mish and the family for a bit. Rob was there and we talked about music, recording and getting together. It is not too likely to happen at least until he gets Flow Motion's CD mixed. It is funny to think about but I can't think of a time when Rob was not mixing a Flow Motion CD. Those boys record a lot of music. Now it is the day after Thanksgiving and as I was driving home from Guitar Center I saw a lot with Christmas trees for sale. Man I cannot believe it is coming on the holidays again. Another year with all these CD's in the making stacked up. I need to finish some stuff already. Wish Josh was closer so he could put some guitar on some of the tunes. Chani met me at Guitar Center after I had been there for a couple of hours. I was in the wonderland room of acoustic guitars. I was playing a guitar when I looked up and there stood Ron Llinas. He was there to replace the Loop Pedal he sold me and that I gave to Freedom. He and I played and played guitars. The first guitar I picked up when I walked in is the one I liked the best. It was great that he was there because we could both listen to the tone on the guitars and check out the action. It was sweet. We picked out one and had it up by the counter when Chani arrived. She thought it didn't totally suck so there you go. We stood outside chatting but quickly realized we were freezing our fannies off. Man is it ever cold outside. Chani took off and I stopped by Ronnie's house and got to see Dave Noran and Tammy. We all had a nice visit and I got to play Ronnie's beautiful Martin guitar. Cool. Now I am about ready for a nap. I am in the studio listening to and mixing some tracks I recorded for Randy and Terri, our friends in Ohio. I realized with Terri's help that I never sent them a copy of the recordings. Oops. I had better get to it.
November 23, 2006
Happy Thanksgiving to all. Hope the holidays are the best ever and you celebrate in joy and in safety.
Wrap your blessings around you and yours. God bless.
It is strange this morning to not have Faith here. She and Andie are usually busy in the kitchen right off the bat. Andie is still making a turkey breast just because. All the gatherings fall during Kayden's nap or almost his bedtime so we still don't know what we are going to do. That is not really a surprise for us though. Kayden is driving his trucks and cars up his slide, letting them drop inside, then crawling in behind the slide and running them back down. Then he slides down head first. It is very serious business. I miss all the young ones especially today and still I am so thankful for the blessing of being papa to such wonderful spirits who are passing through time. I watch Kayden and remember how much I loved my Grandma. He loves Andie like that. She is the one for snuggles and night night. It must do her heart good to have him reaching out to her every night. I have been enjoying reading a few books to him just before the mama snuggles happen. We have so much to be thankful for and we are. Blessings.
I try to remember things that happen in the day to day so I can mention them in this journal and still I forget lots of things. Life the fact that Josh told a famous fighter about Freedom's website and one of his songs because he read in the person's blog that he was feeling really down. This person has over 10,000 friends on MySpace and head read Josh's comment and put Freedom's song as his them on his MySpace. I think that is so awesome. You know Josh made my MySpace as well. Let me see if I can put a link to MySpace and you can find everybody from there.
November 22, 2006
Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes.
Art is knowing which ones to keep. Scott Adams
Chani and junior came for a visit last night. Andie fed us all. Her arms are really hurting her and getting bad and we don't know what to do. Chani and I worked on Norah Jones songs. Then we went on line and looked at a link Lisa-Marie sent that was full of lots of acoustic electric guitars. There are a million choices these days. I think we are going out to play some more guitars on Friday.
Andie and I have been going through the changes thinking about moving. You collect a lot of junk in a couple of decades. The living room is a rival for Toys R Us. Kayden has so many toys and even so, we have entered the climbing stage. He is now interested in anything just out of reach but accessible with some fancy vertical climbing. He sure loves Chani. She taught him to be more gentle in his guitar playing. He plays his guitar with anything he can pick up: Leggo's, little plastic people, trucks, shakers, hot wheels. He came up to her guitar while she was playing and gently strummed it with just his fingers. Andie had a session last night with him sitting on her lap and giving her the sign language sign for more. More of his little Quicktime movies. He was pretty tickled with watching himself dance.
Josh said Sariah had a nice birthday. He called last night. I was in doze mode so we only talked briefly. He said it is really weird to have the temperature be 90 degrees in November. He misses the cold. We do live in a very beautiful place I must say. There is something comforting about the rain. I can't think of what it is but it's something. Think I will go dry off and sit by the heater.
November 21, 2006
What we have to learn to do, we learn by doing. Aristotle
Wow is it raining today. Downpour doesn't do justice to the rain that was falling through the night and into today. Just yesterday Freedom said they sky in Sedona was so blue that it didn't seem real. I want some of that.
I got to talk to Josh and Christina last night but baby girl was sleeping so I didn't get to sing her happy birthday. It sounded like they were throwing her quite a party at Jeff and Linda's house. I wish we could have been there to see it.
Rob is back in town but you wouldn't know it from our house. He has so many people wanting time that it seems we rarely get to see him whenever he is around. We canceled Thanksgiving at our house due to lack of interest. Sarah is going to see Kate and her family, Chani is going to see Lisa-Marie and her family, Liz is working, Faith is going to Carrie's house so we are wondering what to do, Kathy and Dale as well as Jason and Blu extended invitations. We will see as Andie is a bit under the weather. So I will fish out my rain gear now and go for a stroll and a little singing in the rain.
Happy birthday Sariah. Wish so much I could hold you today and give you a bunch of grandpa hugs. It is hard to believe a year has past. It seems like she was just born a second ago. What a joy she brings to the whole family. Each day that passes with her so far away is a hard day to endure. We love that baby and her mama and papa too. I love to see my son Josh look at her with love and wonder as he does each and every day. We love you baby girl.
November 20, 2006
I never lose sight of the fact that just being is fun.
The weekend went by in a blur again. We visited with Jason and Blu for her birthday party and met lots of nice people. It was great to see Chris again. He had to leave to see a show at the Paramount and we tried to stay until he got back but we both ran out of gas around 10 o'clock. They made this wonderful Sangria and the food was excellent. Blu had to stand by and watch the preparations and for her that was painful. She is a master in the kitchen. Faith watched Kayden so we could go and she put him to bed with no problem. Well, she did have to sing Twinkle Twinkle to him about 200 times. I shot another video short last night of Kayden dancing. He has a little plastic trash can (we don't put trash in it) with slits down the side. He puts on his head like a hat. It kind of looks like one of those round helmets knights used to wear as part of their armor. The bottom of the can stands about 8 inches from the top of his head. He puts it on and runs in circles around the couch. I started mouthing a funky drum beat with a boom chick a chick a chick a boom boom boom. He stopped and began to stomp his right foot. Then off he goes shaking his boody and waving his arms with a trash can on his head. Round and round and round the couch he goes. Chani called and said she watched the 1st dancing video over and over and laughed her butt off. Andie and my faces were sore from laughing. When he is happy he is really really happy. That helps a lot in the day to day.
I talked to Freedom several times yesterday. He called and asked me if I could put a note on his web site saying he was sold out of T shirts. Could I maybe think about making some changes or perhaps making him a new site. About ten hours later and several phone calls I closed my lap top and went to bed but I didn't sleep because my brain was still ticking. Andie said she has the same problem when she works long hours on a project. I am sending some software to Freedom and we will have some phone classes to teach him how to maintain the site himself. It will be great to see him have a place to put his poetry up daily. It is a good thing. Freedom
November 18, 2006 Get off the bench and into the game. Tony Robbins
This house and the household are still sleepy this Saturday morning. I may hear a little wake up humming coming from Kayden's room. It is very quiet except for the sounds of the creaking old house settling in for the winter. I talked to Freedom last night. He text messaged me about his concert that evening and I called and it was very good to hear his voice. He said they are doing the day to day. He was at work and said they are coping with being home and feeling the absence of Cheyanna. We talked of how magical it was to all be together in Sedona at the time of Cheyanna's passage. I think it left everyone feeling full and empty at the same time. We went on line last night and looked at jobs and properties in Ojai and Sedona. I called Josh next and we marveled at the fact that Sariah is going to be a year old on Monday. He said if I was there she would want to be held and carried by her grandpa. Andie said yesterday that Sariah is growing up without us. We had better do something soon. All these choices and changes make me crazy. Get off the bench. Do something even if it is wrong. If it is a wrong choice it will eliminate one road and make way for the rest. I think I want to create order out of chaos but it may often be true that my actions tend towards just the opposite. God, get me out of the way so you can do Your thing.
I have uploaded a couple of tiny short film clips from my camera. They are Quicktime movies, only seconds long and I still don't know who to embed a player and the movie like they do on MySpace but I will. The one of him dancing was taken after he had been going at his funky moves for sometime. He loves Freedom's music. Have a great weekend. G
November 16, 2006
If you are feeling old remember this:
"Jesus changed the whole world in three years,
and reconfigured the entire rules of eternity in three days.
There is ample life left for you." Julia
Chani and I had a wee visit last night. She played with Kayden and showed me how she is coming on the guitar. She has the touch. Her chords are perfectly formed and her transitions are smooth. I think the next gathering we have will find Chani playing along or sharing one of her own compositions. I traded a few text messages with Freedom last night and he is doing fine but misses us like we miss him. Sarah is so busy we cannot seem to hook up. Kayden wants her to come and play. I can't seem to get through to Josh using the calling card so if you read this call me. I hardly see Liz because of our different schedules. It is storming here in the country. The valley is flooded as you reach the end of the tressle. We are still above the water line as of this morning. It is strange weather here because you can drive from a rain and wind storm in Snohomish County and hit drive pavement and clear skies when you cross into King County. We live in a rain belt in the rainy state. Go figure.
We have yet to fill out the paper work for the selling of our property but I hope to accomplish that this weekend. It is our friend Blu's birthday party on Saturday. She is a sweet heart. Gift request is bring food for the food bank. We all need more Blu's in the world.
I need some motivation to get out there and play more shows. I think I am still trying to work my way through the loss of Cheyanna and that grief is bungee chorded to a water tower of uncried tears. I must say little Cheyanna opened up the flood gates of my heart with her departure. I truly never cried more in my entire life. Yet, strangely there is a sense of inner peace and joy at having shared a little bit of her time and to have been blessed to fall under that gaze of those majestic blue eyes. Blessed moments like love live on forever. I hope that is not true for those most embarrassing moments we all have.
November 14, 2006
We do not change as we grow older, we just become more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall
The air was crisp and cold this morning and the skies were clear. We had such a cold snap a bit a go before we went to Arizona it seems like we have a one winter already. We met with Melissa our friend who is now with John L Scott. She grew up around us and refers to Andie as Auntie Andie. She will help us sell our land I believe. I hate to do it in a way as it is my home and has been for so many years. I think it comes from being in a military family growing up and changing homes every 3 or four years. It is time for a change though.
I keep trying to call Josh at night and getting a number disconnected message. I must have messed something up on my phone because it used to work. I bet it gets lonesome for musicians down there where he lives in Ojai. He does work a great deal on his own though. All these thoughts racing through my head has left me sleepless for days and weeks. Andie said she thinks I am sleeping more than I think but my thoughts are so busy I am not getting any rest. Man, I need some. I need some sleep and I need it now, I've got to make me see what I mean somehow. Hey, that reminds me of a song..
November 13, 2006
If there is hope in the future, there is power in the present.
.It was a good weekend, kind of mellow, but nice. Kayden had happy times most of the weekend. He had a little cold but is getting better. Thank God for silver water. Kathy and Dale came out on Saturday and Andie made us a feast. Our friend Keith drove all the way from Renton to deliver the 60 bottles of home brew I won at his and Linda's party this last summer. Great timing. We stayed up until nearly midnight in no small part with the help of that home brewed version of a beer called Fat Bastard. It was a pleasant get together. We invited Jimmy but he got busy. Sunday Faith came out and later Chani and Junior showed up and hung out for a while. Chani is getting better and better on the guitar. I know she will be cranking out even more songs once she really gets the hang of changing chords. She already writes and remembers melodies without the aid of an instrument.
We were listening to Freedom's Live in Ashland CD last night and Kayden broke into a wild dance. I got a short sample of it on my camera. We were rolling on the floor. He had some fancy moves including standing on one leg while he shook his behind.
So it is off into a new week. I am looking forward to hearing how the concert went in California. I wonder if Josh and Christina made the 3 hour drive so Josh could play at the show too. So much to know and so little time. Be well.
November 9, 2006
The immediate is often the enemy of the ultimate. Indira Gandhi
I forgot to mention how much fun Freedom is having with the Loop Pedal. When I called him yesterday he said he played with it for about ten hours . And he said what a joy it is to be able to play all those parts. His friend Nathan ordered one after trying out Freedom's loop pedal while Freedom was in Hawaii. I just talked to my friend Paul, the adopted into being Native American Flute player and he just bought a loop pedal after Jimmy and I introduced him to it. Hey I should be working for Boss. It really is a joy to be able to play more than one part at a time and then jump in and play solos.
It continues to be a life full of surprises and a fleeting thing as well. How quickly and subtly the years slip away. I love being a grand pa. Like any good grand father I have the best children and grand children in the galaxy. Like Freedom soaked up every moment with Cheyanna while she was here on earth, as did Andie and I when we were with her, I cherish every moment. The little things bring up the saying "It doesn't get any better than this." Of course it does again and again. Precious moments: Kayden backing up to plop down on my lap so I can read him a story. Watching him run across the back yard. A second ago his was as tiny as Cheyanna in the picture above. Pulling him around the yard last night at twilight in the Red Wagon that Kathy and Dale gave him for his first birthday. I was so full of something else when most of the kids were young and I saw how quickly those years slipped away. Now I listen to Josh talk about Sariah and tell me she is the smartest child in the world. She is of course. He played a hilarious recording of her answering the phone. She is 11 months old. She makes her baby sounds and then says clear as day "Who is it? Who dat?" Josh played it over the phone about 5 times and we laughed and laughed. I am reading up on how to post video. I shop a few little clips last night with my digital camera. As a village elder now I see my childhood swirl before my eyes in the faces of my grand babies and I am so thankful for my life.
Kayden is so much like his mama Liz sometimes. He has this trixie little attitude. Freedom saw him point so we would look the other way and then he turned to try and eat the cat's food. Freedom said "He totally faked us out." Kayden has a lot of Liz's sense of playfulness too. Liz is doing good. She just got a fat raise at her job and was given more hours like she requested. She is talking about enrolling in some college courses too. Life goes on another day. We are putting our house up for sale to see what we can get so we can make a move. We haven't decided yet. It depends on selling the house and what we can line up between Ojai, Sedona, Gig Harbor, Bellingham or some surprise destination the angels spring on us. There you go. Let's do it.
November 7, 2006
Don't rock the boat, don't rock the boat baby.
It is funny I listen to the steady downpour of rain and leaves and think I need a boat at hand, maybe even to get home. It pours and pours. I am a little weary this morning for some reason. I miss the kids ( who are not kids anymore). The distance can be space or lack of time, it amounts to the same: absence. No word from Freedom and Natalie. I am sure they are swarmed with their many friends in Sedona. I keep picturing those red rocks. The rain reminds me how far we are from sunny places. Still the color of the autumn in Washington is so gorgeous. I went for a walk in the rain yesterday and leaves were every where on the rain soaked ground. I was wishing I had my camera. There were God collages every where. I am looking forward to the next get together with Jimmy and the new Jamie. He has three teenage daughters and lives in Snohomish. That is a scary thought. Josh and Chani always make comments on the importance of getting away from this place. I was shocked to hear them tell me some of what went on behind my blind eyes and deaf ears when they were spending their teenage years here. Liz has also shared more information than I probably needed to know. Do ever have conversations with some and just want to say "Stop! I really don't need this much information!" Me either. Just kidding.
When we were in Sedona I had begun reading the last book in Stephen King's Dark Tower series. Freedom informed me I had missed the three previous books. I thanked him for that information. I was totally lost as to what was going on. I discovered I left off with Wastelands and Blain the Train. So I have begun Wizard in the Glass and it is good. I would really like to start over it has been so long but that is not going to happen. There is too much else to do just now. Speaking of which I better get to it. Remember to breathe and show your love to those around you. Let it shine.
November 6, 2006
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
I heard from Kate this morning and she spoke to Freedom again. He and Natalie were supposed to fly home to Sedona today. I haven't talked to him, no text messages or phone calls returned but messages were just sent to show love. Hope they are doing better after three weeks in Maui to begin healing from the loss of Cheyanna. Home is waiting as is Sebastian and I am sure he will be thrilled to see them. It must have been hard for him during this time with them gone but he is in a circle of love in Sedona, a circle warmer and wider than I have ever seen before. I miss that warmth. How blessed they are to be such a place and with those people to lift them.
Josh and I talked again last night. He and Christina are staying Ojai so if we want to be by Sariah we have to move there. We will see. I keep dreaming of red rocks though. We need healing. Where best to find it is the question. Josh talked about shows with Freedom and jamming with Al and how much he loved that. He often talks about the long jam he had with Al and how all the time he has put into playing has paid off. I wish I could have heard it. He said there was a recording of the show that Freedom, Rob, Al, Mish, Jim, Genevieve did at the Jet Deck. We stayed for the warm up and the power break after the first set sent Andie and I home so we missed some amazing magic I guess. Josh said there was some mystical lyrics that came out of Freedom on their 35 minute jam. I will have to hear more before I say it and get it wrong
The week is on and I am already weary this evening. They gray skies bring out the color of the autumn leaves. Faith came over on Sunday and made us some snackie cakes and hung out with us as has become a tradition. So we go. I feel the empty tonight... the little one has flown away.
November 5, 2006
I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for me today.
What a busy week it has been. I got to have coffee with Sarah Maria on Friday. It was a nice visit. We talked of many things, the Order of Love per Family Constellations was one of them. She is working through her personal and spiritual growth and bringing closure to the past. That requires the help of others at times, especially parents. She explained that if a parent is being parented by a child the order of love does not pass on as it should. Nurturing is a child's right. So many times it seems relationships are out of balance in families. One child gets what they want and need and another has their needs ignored. Very strange. It will all work out in the long term. I think if we can't get support we need from someone at some point the lesson becomes one of acceptance and moving on from there. Sarah Maria is wise beyond her years and she will continue to mature gracefully.
Speaking of nurturing, I have to say I have gotten a lot myself these last few weeks from my son Joshua. He has called me nearly every day from California with jokes and stories and conversation. It has been great. I am so proud of him and the mate and dad he has become. He looks with wonderful love on his lady and his daughter and that does my heart good. God is great. Josh has all that talent for humor and for music and he has maintained his humility. He has earned every lick he plays on the guitar with hour after hour of dedicated practice. There is no limit to what he will do.
Chani has been coming out a few times a week too. She also came down to go for a walk with me the other day. Her dog really walked us but it was a nice time. Chani has mellowed more each year and has become more and more aware of the benefits of a calm approach to problems. So many times we can have a bad experience in a day and then relive it ten more times each time we share the experience with others. We get to get upset over and over. Scott MacGougan gave me the lesson in happiness 101. Every day has good and bad things that happen. We get to choose what we focus on and there fore to be sad or happy. Happy is better.
Speaking of Scott, we all played a Murat concert at the Lakewood Covenant Church in Gig Harbor. It was a benefit to raise money for work with orphaned children in the Dominican Republic. Deb MacGougan brainstormed the event which was a Spaghetti feed and concert combination fund raiser. Jimmy Culler came down and played bass and we had a percussionist as well. Mr. MacGougan played lead guitar. It has been a while since I did a concert (I even made a set list) and it was great to be able to introduce the songs and tell a little bit about why and when I wrote them and to get a few laughs. Each day since Cheyanna crossed over I wake up and say "God I can't wait to see what you have planned for me today." It is strange that no matter how much my heart has been hurting, and this is the most it has ever hurt, right after I say it a smile appears on my face. I have to say it two or three times on particularly rough starting days but it always results in a smile. The other thing that is funny is I notice something good every single day. On Friday night I was getting ready to call Jimmy and cancel rehearsal and go to bed. The phone rang and it was Jimmy Wright telling me a room called The Village had its band cancel at the last minute. He asked if I could put something together and play. I had gotten up at 4:30 in the morning and I was exhausted. I said I would call me back in a little while after I stepped out for fresh air and to ask my body if it was willing to stay awake till three in morning. I called Jimmy Wright and said I would and when Jimmy Culler arrived he said he would too. While I was driving to Smokey Point I thought I would fall asleep at the wheel so I said Lord I can't wait to see what you have planned for me. I woke up. We were set up and playing by 9. Jimmy had called a drummer to join us but he didn't show up at first. We played a set and then the drummer, Jamie Vandall, arrived. Now here was a flash back for me, the bartender's name was Lisa and the drummers name was Jamie. I was so happy it was a different Jamie. This new Jamie was phenomenal, he played very tastefully, lightly and as if he knew all my original music. He was punching the kicks and kicking the grooves and on top of that he was singing harmony. We did some Beatles songs and I closed my eyes and thought "I'm in the Beatles". I have stretch marks on my face from smiling so much. I should add one thing, when I say the saying about what God has planned for me each day I add a little aside and say please help me stay out of Your way. That is important in my case. So it was a wonderful evening on Friday. Saturday was amazing. At one point in the concert I dedicated Little Ones to Cheyanna and then almost collapsed in tears. I thought to myself this is probably not the appropriate time for this particular release of grief. There we were standing up in front of that totally attentive audience I thought man, what God will do when you get out of the way.
November 3, 2006
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it." Ferris Bueller
E-mails continue to pour in as people read that Cheyanna has moved on for this world. Thank you all for your kindness and love. There is huge comfort in my son Freedom's words that he was paying attention and did not miss a minute. You can see the pure love on his and Natalie's faces in the photos we have of them looking at Cheyanna. So much love came from so many people that it kept me from collapsing in my grief. Lisa of Family Constellations wrote us words of comfort as did so very many people. While we were in Sedona Natalie's sister Rhonda was a huge support for Natalie. She was so comforted by her presence, more than words can express. As Miriam said in a recent e-mail, love will prevail. So many of you have demonstrated how true that is.
So we now we are in another November an extra special season of thanks giving. I am thankful for loved ones, friends, family. For music. My sons and daughters and grand sons and daughters. I am thankful for the falling leaves and the rain. For my wife Andie. To be able to walk. To be able to breathe. To be able to love. To be able to grieve and cry honestly. To have known and loved Cheyanna. For each new day and each new chance to learn and grow. For the humble pie God continues to feed me and the lessons that baffle me and the answers that will and won't come. For the way Sariah comforted me in my worst time of grief. She is a healer like her mama Christina. To be able to see and hear the amazing talents of all my children. To be honored, blessed and humbles by the blessing of being their papa. To be able to forgive and be forgiven. For my life. For your time. Peace. Papa G
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