Greg Murat (mur-rah)
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Journal March 2016
March 22, 2016
It is Chani's birthday tomorrow. Time flies and the years slip away like falling leaves.
So many faces and places have sifted past like the sands of time.
As Robert Frost once said, "Life goes on."
I am very proud of Chani and who she has grown up to be.
Sunset on Ventura Beach
March 10, 2016
Feel so tired. Weary to the bone.
March 21, 2016
A young Buddhist monk asked his master " Master how should we treat others ?"
His master replied, "There is no others."
So we are told there is no future, past or present, only now.What does it mean when we see a beautiful sunset or sunrise?
We learn lots of words. The words don't really bring us together as much as they take us apart. no human being can belong to another.
Coming to grips with the fact that my pops has passed on to the next adventure. Coming to terms with many things. The desire to hang on to anything from the past is passing. Not sure I will even make the last trek to Texas. Just CD's and files on a hard drive to sift through. Everything else is gone.
I will not be receiving any package. Once again stress and drama enters the scene. UPS called on an anonymous line, which I never answer and left a message.
Message: "We have tried three times to deliver your package and you either weren't home or didn't get to the door fast enough" this is a quote) " so you will have to pick up your package in Everett or call and arrange to have it sent to Snohomish." Click. No address. No Phone number. And as far as I am concerned no package. The end.
Thanks for the thought though.
I did finally drive to the other city and pick up the package, copied the CD's and returned them. I have never listened and probably never will. Didn't care for several of the titles and the association is too much pain.
Moving on now slowly. I will never hold the football for Lucy again.
I can't fix things other people have done. I need to look inward and do the best I can with what I have. I am reading an interesting book that asks this question. "What if everything that ever happened to you was the absolute best thing that could happen to you to make your life the best life possible?" What if that were true? It is the belief of the author that the statement is true. Wouldn't that change some people's perspective and maybe even make happiness possible. Something to think about on a gray windy day in Washington with no power and the possibility of large cedars falling on the house in the crazily high winds.
March 8, 2016 B
I was promised a call from UPS within an hour after I called to complain that their driver left a note and didn't deliver the package while I was home. I never got a call. To top it off the driver's note said you will have to pick up the package at the address below. Below was an empty space. Andie told me today it is from Florida with CD's in it. Unfortunately I won't be getting it. I would file a complaint and ask for my money back if I had sent it.
March 8, 2016
Final Delivery Failure notice left on the door as I was sitting in my room. An hour on the phone with UPS. They should just send it is back. Stress. Just what the doctor ordered. I don't care what it is or who it's from I am not going to drive somewhere to get some unknown something from a driver too stupid to wait for someone to answer the door.
UPS sucks. Oh my! UPS sucks.
Hmm. Maybe I should eat some food and drink some water. This day has not gotten off to a grand start. I am finishing burning some of my Dad's CD's for two of his friends. I will mail them off in a few minutes. Hey, I should probably require a signature!
On another note, I had a very nice visit with Jimmy Culler last night in the studio. We listened to some of the old DAT tapes and played a little music. We attempted to solve the world's problems as well but didn't get far. We came full circle back to our concerns which we really didn't discuss. I did point out the perils of breathing mid-syllable in song lyrics and gave an example which was good for a long burst of inappropriate belly laughs. Never breathe in the middle of a word! It creates two words and they can be quite disturbing or funny. Another tip is don't say a consonant on each half of the word.
March 7, 2016
The rain fell steady the whole night long. I was engaged in the start of violent nightmare just as my alarm went off. It is good to wake up from some dreams. I dreamed I was in a long tunnel with rails. It was cave like but perfectly circular as if it had been drilled. There was a sense of foreboding in the air. It was humid and was dimly light as if it was dusk outside. I rounded a turn to see a huge alien craft several hundred meters long. I was with a small group of people and we turned to run and once again I awoke from the dream.
What does it all mean grasshopper? It is just another day in the land of rain.
So I sit next to 27 DAT tapes. There is Gone to Yesterday, Room With a View, Room with a View without vocals. The lost MacGougan sessions. The rest are unheard recordings. There is a solo recording at Bickford's November 1997 playing right now. I found two different sessions playing with my father. Treasures. I am on tape two. Where will it end my friend? It is kind of fun to hear Tito and Eddie my old faithful drum machines playing along. Down in Brazil. I have such a negative effect on electronics. They don't work right around me. Turn off. Freeze up. I think I manufacture psychic gremlins. Yikes. Maybe this will be archived and maybe not. This recording was 19 years ago! Time passes by so fast. Pay attention.
Hoping to be sending out the love.
March 6, 2016
Love is Kind. I need some soul sand.
Sunday night and it is difficult to believe the weekend has flown by without doing much of anything. "Stuck on the ground and lost out in space." That is my mental state. I find myself talking to my dad at times when driving or sitting in the studio spaced out. I try to shake off the drama that is associated with his passing, none of it from him. The term the straw that broke the camel's back comes to mind. Isn't that dramatic?
I am mostly thankful that I have a wife who loves me, a grandson who brings me joy and makes me crazy. I know I do the same to him. I read something the other day that referred to your inner circle or table gets smaller with the passing of time. Some new members join, some old ones fall or pass away. It is good if you have peace at your table and can send out love from that point. Don't sit down with people who would cause you pain intentionally. Do say a prayer for them with some love attached.
A package came to the door Thursday but was not delivered and probably won't be. Whoever sent the package requested a signature so UPS just left a note and drove away. They never wait for an answer, they just knock once and leave. Usually the package is outside by the door unless there is a signature request. In such a case it is returned to the sender eventually.
Time passes quickly and slowly at the same time. Is that Quantum Physics? No, it's just life.
I sit here at the keys and listen to my brain. "Nobody is home" is the message I am getting today. So I guess I will just scoot back from the key pad and drift off in space.
Sending out the love!
March 1, 2016
Life is too short for the way that we're feeling
Standing in the rain on a sunny day
Life is too short for the way that we're feeling
Shortly I'll be on my way GM (Modern Love Song)
Listening to the rainfall always reminds me of the monsoons, sitting or walking in the rain, the endless rain. I am so grateful to be warm and dry. Just to have shelter is such a blessing. I am listening to old DAT tapes and trying to archive them. I loose long periods of time just staring out in front of me with hands on the keyboard just lost in space and time. What fun. Maybe it is fun but if so I have no memory of it. I find myself wishing things were different and that people would look for the good in each other. It is there in the worst of people and someone seeking it can help bring it out. I have been thinking that is what I need to do. So what if some people can't seem to see it in me. I should not pass judgment as I don't see it in me either much of the time. My heart is ever in a place of love. My brain, however, will beat the beehive at every opportunity, transport me to Vietnam throughout every single day. Once in combat mode it sets out to create a protective barrier around me. A barrier that has no limits and no one can penetrate. It is not a safe place. It is a lonely place.
Thank God for humor of all kinds. I find myself making people laugh even when I am in the worst of pain. That is the sun that reaches through the storm. Being a papa is a big part of that. It is true like my lyrics say in Love Wears Your Name. "It is the season of my sorrow and the reason I rejoice."
So time keeps rolling. Let go or get dragged.
Sending out the love Favorite Recording Studio- Studio 0 Four
Treat yourself and your guitar to a beautiful Thalia Cap soon. I endorse these capos completely! (Not that they asked)
"Unique design allows you to easily capo your guitar with just your fretting hand.
Beautifully inlaid with abalone shell & exotic woods."
Walkway Side view
Kayden's First Snow Pictures of the year
Day 2 of snow
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Greg Murat (mur-rah)