Greg Murat (mur-rah)
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Journal September 2006
September 30, 2006
The month has passed with swiftness in so many ways. I am thankful we are so blessed in our lives with the love of family and with the love of God. I saw only concerns and cares now I see opportunities and new chances for blessings to flow. The power of words is immense. I just read about the importance of addressing your issues and speaking to them not about them. When David faced Goliath he did not say Oh Lord that guy is huge! How can I face someone three times my side, someone who is a warrior when I am only a shepherd. He spoke directly to Goliath and said he was facing him in the name of and by the power of the God of Israel. There is nothing that God cannot overcome if we can believe and speak it. Forget the I am not worthy stuff which is my specialty. Prophecy is self fulfilling so foresee good and it will come. I am hoping that later I will read this and be inspired to act upon it.
In the news Cheyanna has had her surgery postponed to a later date. She seems to be doing fine. They need to work on her shunt but it is not necessary at this time and Natalie and Freedom opted to wait until it is to keep her from going through unnecessary trauma.
Thanks for the prayers. I am in recovery and working my way to wonderful health and healing and it has been my focus. I look forward to the passage of this pain and a renewed spirit and all the wonderful things awaiting our family. God is good.
We are on our way to a new home and new opportunities and will embrace the future with open arms.
September 27, 2006Kayden is a busy boy already this morning. He is playing on the slide set Andie put in the living room. I mean what was our living room and which now looks more like Romper Room. It is kind of strange to be at this time and place in life and playing the role of father to my grandson. I am grandpa, or papa. I just love the little bugger with his attitudes and all. He is going to be a challenge. I want to live near my son Josh because he can help. Kayden thinks he is the greatest thing in the world. He says his name all the time and lights up when he sees his picture. How about those two grand daughters. Aren't they beautiful? I like this part of life, seeing the next generation begin to come into the world. Seeing the love on the faces of their parents. It is a wonderful feeling. I am thinking of this saying I just read that reminds me how precious life is and yet no one gets out alive. Jimmy and my friend Paul said we walk between two worlds. We need to have balance. For those who sacrifice theirs lives for others or for love it is said: Blessed is she who gives up what she cannot keep for something that cannot be taken away. Our walk in time is a preparation for what will be when we step through the veil.
Chani came out today to see her recovering papa. She is always a joy. I am so proud of how she set out and found her way and makes no apology for her choice. She talked about how much she admires all the musical talent in the family. She has that talent too and when I am better we are going to track some more of her songs. She wants to learn guitar too so she can write the music. Actually she already writes the music but doesn't know what the chords are that go with her melodies. It is so hard to get up and it hurts like hell. I have to move about because I had a real hard time coming out of the anesthesia and I am at very high risk of catching pneumonia. What was supposed to be a two hour procedure ended up taking nearly 10 hours. I vaguely remember apologizing to the nurse as I was throwing up and passing out and moaning in pain. She was very concerned and stressed. I noticed the doctors seemed to be flippant and backed away as she asked for advice. They seemed irritated that I was still in recovery 6 hours after surgery. My lungs wanted to fold up and check out of the game. My nurse was having none of that. I also remember her telling me that today would be worse than yesterday. She was a very honest person.
I have to rest now but I want to say Cheyanna went in for more surgery today and your prayers would be greatly appreciated. This young soul continues to have quite the challenge on her new journey on this side of the veil. She is lifted in love by many, lifted up for healing.
September 23, 2006
Dale Fuentes is here to fix the roof over Liz's room. We have to spend money on this place until we can afford to knock it down and start over. C'est la vie.
September 21, 2006
Last night seems like ages ago now but the whole late evening and all day I heard the beautiful music of Native American Wooden flute as played by my friend Paul. Jimmy introduced us a awhile back and the night before I visited him Jimmy and he played music together. We all played last night and it took a while for us to fall together as one Spirit but when we did it was true magic. For those who follow beauty it was a place to be. I felt so full inside it was if I were flying. I decided to forgo drinking for a season and that began four days ago. I felt lifted to a higher place by the music. We recorded loops on our pedals and then Jimmy and I sat back and listened to Paul add a second flute to his inspired first performance. We listened to the recording for about an hour it seems. I accidentally erased it. I felt strongly I should call Josh and ask him who to save a loop but I guessed and I guessed wrong. I was sick but it was yet another lesson in letting go. There are so very many of those.
This music is so healing and purposeful. It is a like a gorgeous sunset. Each morning Paul plays to the sunrise on his back porch. Wish I could be there to start the day with that sound. He has never recorded but we are going to change that. Jimmy and I talked this morning and still felt high from the experience. They are going to a traditional sweat lodge tomorrow and I so wish I could go but time and tummy won't allow.
I am giving the doctors yet another go at me and will have an operation on Tuesday to hopefully remove a pain I have had for almost a year now. It has me laid up and not much good for anything. My belly button fell off and has to be put back on. It may not be that much fun but we will see. My laptop went all the way back to Apple and came back as broken as when it left so I said send it back and let them try again. The people at Micro Computer are very nice and very helpful. They diagnosed trouble with the hard drive and mother board but neither of those things were fixed. It is way beyond time for a new computer but budget says wait, wait, just wait. And so it goes.
September 20, 2006
Life is a choice between freedom and fear my son told me. It is also a choice between pleasure and pain.
September 11, 2006 If you want to be strong, know your weaknesses.
I was talking to Dale Fuentes yesterday about abundance and the importance of picturing it and meditation on it. I said I have a poverty mindset I need to overcome. I can throw more marbles in my path than can be counted. Clear the way to new horizons or clear the view of the present ones.
On this day when the world moved on 5 years ago I feel a mixture of emotions. I feel a great empathy for those who lost loved ones in the falling of the two towers. I feel the same for the victims of war through out the world. We need peace in our hearts and minds and spreading outward to the rest of the planet. I still believe we have got to learn to love one another. How big a challenge is that when couples who start out loving each other can hardly ever stay married? It is a big one. Our survival depends upon it. We all need to awaken the sleeping giant within us and claim our right to peace on the planet.
September 10, 2006
Not much to say and little time to say it. Dale Fuentes came by today and gave us his contractor input on our house. Knock it down and start over. Just what I wanted to hear. So there you go. We need an RV to live in while we rebuild or we need to sell the property as is and move on, or and on and on the list goes.
I played a wedding last night. Got paid for the wedding and played to reception for free. Don't know why we struggle to make ends meet. I feel like my performances get marked down more than merchandise at Wall Mart. A half to two thirds off my price (which is $500 for a reception and $250 for a wedding) is what I get paid in the end if there is no contract. A wedding and a reception are not the same thing and I guess I need to get my business shirt on a get contracts prior to doing weddings. In the past people have always erred on the wrong side of the equation. It is funny, the one thing that is always consistent is that everyone is thrilled with the music. I don't understand why it gets discounted. Clarity I suppose. The artist is not the business man. Work out the details prior to the performance, get a contract and a deposit. Take off the businessman coat and play your heart out. Problem solved. I love performing at weddings though. Yesterday was no exception. It is such a time of hope and dreams and expression of love. I hope to play and sing at a lot more weddings with a new approach to the business side of things. It will help pay for our new home. It makes good sense.
The final happy note of yesterday was an evening with Jason and Blu. We went to an Italian Restaurant in Bothell for a very late dinner, listed to some excellent jazz and had a few cocktails. It was most enjoyable. We love those guys and happy birthday to Chris. We miss his smiling face. I will have to get the name of that restaurant because it was fantastic and the musicians were stellar. So now I have to go online with Andie and look at our options. I love this one home we just stopped and looked at on the way home. It was like a castle overlooking Centennial Trail Really cool. It was a huge property just down the street from us and it was only $537,000. Two please.
September 6, 2006
Rob made it safely to Florida. I believe Christina, Josh and Sariah are arriving sometime today.
Andie moonlighting in Arizona
September 5, 2006
I do not think there is any other quality so essential as perseverance. It overcomes almost everything, even nature. JD Rockefeller
Thanks for the quote Dale. I have been fiddling around with the MySpace that Josh set up for me and it is a pain to work. The little time I have allocated to web design is more productive here but I think a lot more people look at sites on MySpace. There are a number of musicians involved in very worthy causes. I like that. My favorite shows have been the benefits we have played.
It is a cool morning with the last days of summer dancing around the leaves that are beginning to fall. We got a call from our friend Randy in Ohio and we got to talk to his daughter Aileen too. It was great. Aileen told Andie the fire flies were just coming out for the evening. Andie had never seen fire flies before our trip to Ohio. Randy says he might visit and that would be a kick. He may be going to Mexico and invited one or both of us along. I am not sure which. He said it was a guys trip but Andie is one of the guys according to Randy. Our little grand daughter jaunt used up our travel fund but what the heck. We will see.
Okay I have diddled around for some time now and I realize that I need to get my butt back out there and start playing music again. There where and the how are very important to me though. I really want to network with other musicians and writers and share in this art. It would be good to get new inspiration and interaction. I hope to record Josh when he is in town.
I have to pay attention to all of my actions because I have an understudy named Kayden. He watches and follows me around. A yellow jacket was tormenting us yesterday and I swatted it with a flip flop. He came right up behind me and picked up the flip flop and smacked it on the porch with the same enthusiasm I had used. I have to be very careful of what I do or say because I will get a little version of it right back. It is good inspiration being nice.
September 4, 2006
Nothing stays the same except cycle upon cycle of change. Native Elder
The holiday was mellow and now we slide into the last evening. Rob was in town finishing the last touches of moving all his stuff to storage and tending to the leftovers of fellow band members who left their stuff behind. Missy just scratched at and opened the door to Kayden's room causing to start crying. I hate when she does that because it can take forever for him to go back to sleep. Rob is doing great and we finally got to spend some time together at the end of his last day here. I drove him to the airport this morning so he could catch a flight to Orlando and the next leg of the Tina Malia Tour. Mish and Pure visited along with our friends Becky and Day. It was a late night make music and visit evening. I had to catch a little nap this afternoon. Faith spent the day with us and made us a marvelous meal. Got beef?
We have been looking at property on line. For the cost of a tiny cottage in Ojai we could by two houses on 18 acres in Oregon. We have been talking about buying acreage with some other members of the family. We sure loved it down there though. Josh and Christina will be in the area for a week or two but have lots of plans so we don't expect to get a whole lot of time with them. The visit in Ojai was great and I still smile to think of how much we enjoyed our visit. I don't want to slip back into complacency and let our dreams go back on hold. Hail to the coming fall and may it bring more of the silent awakening of souls. .
September 3, 2006
It doesn't matter how fast you get there if you are going in the wrong direction.
Slow down and see where you are going.
Here we go Autumn. We are thinking we should have knocked this place down and sold it in the spring. We are being surrounded by small cities of housing projects. There doesn't seem to be any thought at all as to how people are going to fit across a two lane Trestle to get to town. Motivation is low while need is high. It is so far past time to move. Spirit move us to see what the good road has in front of us. I am missing our out of state and in state family every day. I am so ready for a change and yet it seems so hard for me to make steps in that direction. I have a subconscious message of my Uncle Frank telling me everything comes to those who wait. It might be true for a sniper but not for a soul trying to make their way through life and reach a higher spiritual plane in the moment. Fall? Get up and go. Make music along the way.
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Greg Murat (mur-rah)