April 29, 2006
A contented mind is the greatest blessing a
man can enjoy in this world.
Joseph Addison
April 26, 2006
A
single sunbeam is enough to drive away any shadows.
Saint Francis of Assisi
What
a grand day for me, walking on the beach at
Alkai with Sarah Maria and having lunch with
her at Duke's. It was a typical Washington day
with overcast cold air but who cares. We discussed
life, love and the pursuit of happiness and
the few relationships that seem to really work.
She shared the observation that life is more
enriched when you are married but if you have
kids it doesn't matter because you are really
too tired for a relationship at the end of the
day. It was not a hot air balloon ride but it
was grand to me. When I first headed out to
see Sarah I missed the exit as I was in south
Seattle, actually Tukwilla and I drove a very
long way towards the north but said "No
I am going to see Sarah." I exited and
drove backwards to get on the right track. Then
I missed the exit and went too far north again.
I said, "No I am going to see Sarah."
I exited and headed south again. It just occurred
to me from up in the sky I must have looked
like an ant going this way, then that way. By
God I made it and Curtis, Sarah's wonderful
supporter and kindred spirit, said he could
wait until later to hook up with her. So off
we went on a little adventure. All the rest
of the stuff that is made of sadness and stress
slipped away as we headed out together, father
and daughter. I was ever so grateful for the
time. Often our conversations will stray to
the fact that her mother still harbors very
hard feelings towards me after all these years.
I have spent a great deal of energy not sharing
my perspective on things like that but one day
I realized that every story has two sides. All
the children I have been blessed are more intelligent
than me so I realized that not sharing my perspective
was a disservice to them. I know they will process
the information in their own way. One thing
I have never pretended not to be is human so
they know I have no delusions of grandeur. It
is also healing to me as I learn some of the
things I thought and felt when I made, what
I still feel, were mistakes in my life. I still
believe we do the best we can at any given time.
Except at some point one needs to ask the question,
what have I learned? Perhaps that is what is
meant by the unexamined life is not worth living.
Chani called me in the midst of
a very awkward business meeting and I called
her back afterwards. She was quite excited and
proud of her puppy. She shared the story of
how while out on a walk about she lost her cell
phone. She told her baby to find it and off
she ran. Chani had to let the lease out as she
could not keep up as she ran after her faithful
friend. Suddenly her baby ran off the sidewalk
into the grass in a church yard and stopped
looked down and began to bark. Chani looked
down in the grass and there was her phone. What
a proud mama she was and should be. There are
little miracles everyday if we just pay attention.
If we just open our eyes. My miracle is to be
loved by these new life's that I had a small
part in creating, not because of who I am, but
because of who they are. Thank you Lord.
Happy birthday to Sarah Maria. It was a blessed
day when she came here to the planet. Through
all of the trials over the years the perseverance
she has displayed has been an inspiration to
me. She has so much discipline and I admire
the way she stays dedicated to her music, art
and film and her growth as a person. I am looking
forward to sitting in a theater and watching
her new movie when it is finished. Keep shining.
We love you and need you here.
We
are shaped and fashioned by what we love. Goethe
April 24,
2006
Not much to
say. We had a nice visit with Jason and Blu
and I got to ride in the Porsche with Jason.
That was a thrill. Here is a tip, never buy
flavored vodka. I did and it was yucky. We had
some appletini's but they were not very good.
Had to have a few to be sure. I am sure. It
was nice to have a surprise get together. Mike
and April had one last nigh and I did a drive
by burger on my was to see Aaron Tippin with
Jimmy Culler. It was a honky tonk show for sure.
He is a great entertainer and really knows how
to get the crowd in the palm of his hands and
keep them there. We met with him briefly after
the show. Jimmy was trying to hook us up so
I could share some music with Aaron. What a
good guy. These days I look around and see how
many people had a better plan for what they
are doing with their lives. It is nice to see
it paying off after all these years. I am still
walking around without a clue. I know how to
rule out things, like music, but don't know
what to replace them with. It makes for a lost
sort of feeling. Lost, that would probably make
a good TV series.
April 22, 2006
Kayden
is raising the Titanic with his experiments
in how loud his voice can be. I can answer that:
loud. He has all these toys at one end of the
living room and he wants to only play at the
other end where there is a plant to get into,
a gate to climb, an entertainment center to
try and open. He now has the little mischievous
look he gives when he is getting into something
he knows he is not supposed too. He loves to
pull on the plant. Yesterday we sat in the grass
and he picked Dandelions. He didn't even try
to eat them. He also played with his first Cedar
cones and we bounced on the trampoline. Well
actually, he sat on my lap and we baby bounced.
I was thinking if the person I talked to yesterday
had his way I would lose all that time I was
spending with Kayden to an afternoon commute.
That is not going to happen. Anyway it is a
beautiful Saturday morning and I have to get
back to the boy. Hope the day is good to you.
April 21, 2006
The sky was
pouring water and the highway was filled with
assholes with automobiles. What is it with people
these days. I often look about and say "where
is the fire?" I need a big car swatter
for some of those folks. It would swat the car,
stun the driver, then lift it onto a spot off
to the side of the road, issue a dumb ass ticket
and after a time out set them on their way.
It was really pouring down this morning. Andie
came home last night with an idea and some info
on a new job opportunity. Unfortunately she
decided to clean out her car on the way home
and disposed of all the pertinent info. C'est
la vie. Kayden and I both fell asleep at the
same time last night. It was around 7. I don't
know what was up I just got blasted by the Sandman
and off I went to La La Land. It is funny how
that works sometimes. I like sleeping. It is
one of my favorite sports.
Jimmy Culler called me about taking a
run up to Bellingham to meet his country singer
friend, Aaron Tippin. He is in concert up there
on Sunday night. Jimmy is always thinking of
me, his adopted brother. Maybe I have a song
or two Aaron might be interested in singing
or sharing with a friend. Wouldn't it be nice
if I could work full time as a song writer?
Of course that would mean I would need to write
some songs and I have not been so inclined for
some time. Maybe I can still write though, you
never can tell. You just never can tell.
April 20, 2006
I got some new picture from Josh
and I put them on his pages.
Man is Saria cute and does she ever look so
happy and full of love for her papa. It really
makes my heart feel good looking at the pictures.
It also makes me miss them very much. They are
so far away. I think we would pack and move
down there if I had some way to make a living
in that area. It looks beautiful there. It will
probably be August before we can make the trek
down that way. Josh also sent me a new MP3 of
him playing with his loop pedal. It is beautiful
too. He has such a refined and smooth style
of playing. Root MP3.
His melodies and chords are all his own. I listen
and say "I wish I could play like that."
It is a sunny spring day in
Washington. The flowers are starting to bloom
and the air is clear and clean, that is the
benefit of all this rain. It is a fine day in
the great Northwest.
April 19, 2006
It looks to be a beautiful day here in
the Northwest. I heard from Terri in Ohio and
she seems to be doing pretty good, all things
considered. On Easter when I talked to Josh
he sounded great. I still haven't heard from
Freedom. I guess I will have to get an update
from Rob. I was just informed by my neighbor
that there was a large gray wolf in her driveway
this morning. She is half a block away. That
is not the best news I have gotten lately, not
with a little long haired Chihuahua.
I am working on the CD with Mike and we spent
a couple of hours trying to get a mix on Dawn's
recordings. There is so much variation in volume
that it is very difficult to mix. I think I
have spent about 8 hours on the project already.
Mike is much faster though and with the work
we got done last night I should be able to finish
in a few more hours. Mixing is meticulous work.
April 18, 2006
It seems more and more difficult to write this
blog. Manolito told me on the phone "You
can't write any songs because you are not inspired.
I think you should work on your guitar playing."
I agree. How do we get our needs met and how
do we define them? There is a frustration in
the air that is kin to a thick fog. Nothing
seems clear. I keep thinking that I am looking
every where for a solution to our situation,
every where but music. If picking one thing
makes you successful then what does not picking
anything do for you? All I know is when I am
playing every thing makes sense, at least for
the duration of each song. I think that is true
even more so for instrumentals. I am just carried
away by playing the music. We scramble through
each day and it is often difficult to take the
time for the things we love. TV is the great
distraction and escape. Unfortunately it helps
us escape from things like talking to each other,
sharing feelings, sounding ideas. Now if Jack
Bauer was here he would make us talk and find
the location of our dreams and he would do it
in less than 24 hours. Instead we can spend
hours upon hours looking at each other's profiles
and not saying a word. Kayden is a full time
experience though. I swear every time we put
him down for a nap he is replaced by a slightly
larger version of himself. He is so heavy now.
At the end of the day when he wants to be held
and danced around I feel like my arms are going
to fall off. Still. I would not trade him for
any thing. That is the truth and I am sticking
to that version. My heart goes out to Terri
and Randy in Ohio who walked away after all
those years. God bless and heal their hearts.
April 17, 2006
It is already the start of a new week.
We had a lovely Easter with Faith, Kathy, Dale,
Liz, Kayden and we even got to see Chani for
awhile. It was nice because Chani and I did
a store run and got to visit for a spell. We
had the full range of Washington weather with
hail, rain, wind and sun. We nearly froze to
death walking from the car to Bartell's drug
store. We had a laid back day with lots of fine
food, Andie made a prime rib and we had our
traditional Easter egg hunt, inside due to the
inclement weather. Josh sent some new pictures
of Saria and we compared them to some baby pictures
of him and it looks like she has his eyes. He
and Christina both have those beautiful dark
brown eyes. I was so thankful that I did not
play Saturday night because I was rested and
relaxed and ready for a nice family day. It
would have been nice to go to church but we
did not make it. Kayden was beautiful in his
little Sunday outfit that Andie had bought him.
I don't have pictures yet so hopefully Andie's
pictures turned out. I have a ton of pictures
to sort through from Provinces but I need a
few days to not go there. It really was a good
night and the positive out weighed the negative.
It was not nearly as sad as I thought it would
be but that is because of the positive attitude
Kenny Lee has. I really don't know if I will
play there again. I need some time. I think
I really need to drag my butt to some new venues.
I got thumbs up on the live solo
guitar CD from Andie and Faith. Mike and I are
rapping up the Essence CD which is sprinkled
with a bit of Bosa Nova. Then we will tackle
the rocking band CD we started a year ago last
December. Andie reminds me every day that she
really wants to move but I am a slow starter
so we will see how it goes. It is time for a
chat with the bank because that will really
determine the kind of choices that are open
to us. So have a great week and off we go.
April 16, 2006
He is risen. That is the happy news of today.
On this day we celebrate Jesus's rising while
we can. It is an interesting time that we live
in because in the land of the brave and free
we are less and less free to express anything
to day with Jesus. Any other religion but Christian
seems to retain the right for freedom of expression.
There I go right off the bat; glass half full.
It is a blustery gray day outside. Kayden has
already took his first crash and has a little
knot on his head. He has been a sweet heart
this morning. He is now snuggling with Andie.
He actually wanted me to put him in his little
play pen. We never put him in there but he has
his little stuffed animals in there so he got
in and was playing with them quietly. That was
my chance to write a few words. I still haven't
finished his song, Little For A Little While.
Days just seem to blend together. I have to
go play with the baby.
April 15, 2006
I made it through the weekend with the help
of some very fine musicians and friends. It
was sad to see Kenny go but he is the ultimate
optimist and he will land on his feet. We shook
hands again last night and once again he said
"You don't stop playing and I won't stop
cooking." Deal. What a guy and what a friend.
So many people turned out to give Kenny a birthday
send off that it was very touching. Kenny did
his traditional House of the Rising Sun with
Dee singing. Aaron played Margarittaville. There
was the usual amount of back ground weirdness
going on too. I am glad it is over and I packed
out last night to take tonight off. I guess
Dee and Hans some how thought the gig was theirs.
The schedule said differently and Kenny and
Kelly asked me to be there late Thursday so
I am not sure how that transpired but that is
why I gave up tonight. It is time for new adventures
and venues. I am thankful for all the times
that passed at Provinces and there were many
many good ones. There were some that were not
so good, like life. Kenny stood up last night
and said "I'll be back." I am sure
he will.
April 10, 2006
Too much to do, or time management
training might be a good idea. I am listening
to Dawn Williams sing from the tracks she recorded
here a few days back. Man what a voice. It is
my own little head phone worship service going
on tonight. It is nice. I just spent 15 minutes
dancing Kayden to sleep in the living room.
He did a fall on his lip today. It wasn't even
a fall he lost his balance spun and hit his
mouth on his little English and Spanish dexterity
training table. He was not happy and neither
were we. Andie was giving me the "We were
both right there and there was nothing we could
have done. This is going to happen." I
don't want that to be true. I love the little
man so much. The memories of lost time with
all my other children is so present every day
to remind me to pay attention. He is ten months
old today and a second ago you could fit his
little head in the palm of my hand.
Last night my spirit son Rob came
over and we sat up talking until midnight. Andie
and he looked up little Mayan description of
us based on birthdays just for fun. It was funny
because I was the white rhythm wizard and Kayden
was the mirror of me. I have loved this time
I have spent with him even though I have been
through much pain and health issues I got to
spend a lot of time with him. I wouldn't trade
a minute.
I wish I could just be here. I am weary of the
world and like being at home in the shelter
of home.
I have down loaded the pictures
that JB took on Saturday but have to sift through
them. I don't seem to be able to get things
done for some reason. The gig was great and
even though I am sad about the circumstances
with Ken Lee and the impact of the whole situation
on my thinking process it was very very good
to be there to celebrate his birthday early.
I don't think I will make it in for the last
night. The way the whole thing went down is
a little to weird. I think that is why Kenny
had me play Saturday night because I got bumped
out of my weekend by the Delivery Boys. No sweat
though. I told Kenny that is who should be there
for a big send off. We have had some great times
over the years and I have played with some great
people. Saturday night was no exception. John
Matthews played his butt off and grooved like
a champion. Jimmy and I had the hardest time
getting it together but we kind of did. We mostly
had a happy sad time. John Coffey kicked booty
playing four different saxes and played them
all with so much passion and precision. John
was stoked. He was saying, we could do something
with this band . It would be good to have Mike
on drums but we still smoked with just the four
of us. That is my story and I am sticking to
it.
Thanks to Jason, Blu and Chris for
showing up on no notice and taking home the
C'est Syrah CD and for giving me a bad time
about recycling a picture from another CD. Short
notice is my excuse but I owe you a new cover.
April 5, 2006
I have spent the last two days tightening
up the recordings from The Passport to Woodinville
that I recorded in the Columbia Winery Wine
Cellar. I think what makes me happiest about
the recordings is the joy that comes through
in my playing. It isn't perfect technique, I
am playing after all, but it is a guy happy
for a minute doing what he loves best.
It is kind of bizarre to discover
I am not playing at Provinces any more. I must
have played there for 14 years. Ironically Keith
called to tell me what is going on and then
Ron Llinas called to ask me about copy rights
and publishing music and then informed me he
was doing Provinces on the the third Friday
with the Delivery Boys. Communication is a weak
link in the human chain. So for the first time
in my memory I have not a single engagement
booked and no real ideas. To go or stay, that
is the question. To go or stay. I am looking
for shows as a solo guitarist. I am not much
interested in singing any more. I will say it
when I play it. That is enough for me. What
I am feeling these days does not translate into
lyrics I care to write or that any one would
care to hear.
April 3, 2006
Kayden stirring awakened me this
morning but he is still sleeping. A new week
begins and new beginnings are near. Patrick,
Andie's cousin came by yesterday and the two
of them went to work in the yard the whole time
I was playing at the Columbia Winery. It looks
great out there. There is so much clean up left
to do. Patrick showed up while Andie was at
the store and he proceeded to mow the lawn.
What a guy.
I spent a few hours last evening
dumping the tracks I recorded at the winery
into the computer for editing and managed to
get one tune up on the web site. It is tax time
so it may take me a few days to mix down the
CD. Mike Daily called and we are even closer
to being done with the Essence CD. He put five
hours in on the project yesterday while I was
playing at the Winery. There are some really
good people in the world.
I doubt Kayden will be sleeping
much longer as I am busy trying to cough myself
inside out. Well I have so little to do and
so much time. Wait. Scratch that. Reverse it.
Walk in peace to the sound of good music.
April 2, 2006
I recorded the show for the first time today.
Me and my loop pedal making music at Columbia
Winery. It was good for my soul to play. I may
become a guitarist yet. I think I am going to
concentrate on that for a while. I want to compose
some music just for guitar. At present I just
play my regular songs instrumentally. That is
fun too. Listening the recording while I put
into the studio from mini disk I realize there
is something there. People seem to get the soothing
part of this instrumental music. Diana at the
Winery said it is just good wine tasting music.
It is mood music, other worldly music. I am
grateful for the chance to play and for the
people who took the time to introduce themselves
and say hi. I hope we get to know each other
better. I will have a "Live at the Passport
of Woodinville CD" soon.
Freedom called to say the Doctors
bailed on them and they are going forward with
prayers and faith that Sierra will be born fine
in July and that is our prayer as well.
April 1, 2006
What a fool's day it was. All the streets and
I mean all the streets in Woodinville were closed
today. I spent over an hour trying to get to
the Winery to play a gig. I finally had to get
out of the car and ask a Sheriff what to do.
I had to head North on the freeway and switch
highways and take back roads to get there. Then
I stopped for gas and my car locked up and would
not accept my key. Damn what a day. The funny
thing is that I was set up and ready to go a
half an hour late. I really was just about to
head home and scrap the whole gig I was so frustrated.
As it turns out I met some pretty nice people,
some in education, some in coffee shop and music
venue businesses, and some just nice folks.
I strictly played instrumental pieces today.
To top off every thing else I forgot my guitar
pedals and my effects POD. I did have my loop
pedal thank God and I realized that is all I
really need. It allows me to play parts and
go back and play on top of parts. I love the
last part of a piece. I step on the left pedal
and it erases every thing I have recorded. It
is here and now and then gone. I realized my
guitar is my partner on stage. I have missed
having some one to set up and tear down with
and play and perform with but realize this is
the game. This is how it is. But when I sit
my guitar in my lap I know it isn't going to
give me a bad time, make me feel guilty, put
me down or lift me up, it will just do whatever
it is I do. The more loving I am the more music
it makes. For the first time in my memory I
did not feel lonely playing today, not at all.
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Greg Murat (mur-rah)
Singer-Songwriter Guitarist
