Greg Murat (mur-rah)
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Journal Novemeber 2008
November 30, 2008 Where did November go?
I just had a little flash from Sarah Murat's movie and the line "Things are exactly as they are supposed to be." I heard Wayne Dyer say the same thing. I suppose this refers to acceptance because if things suck where you are right now that line doesn't have much appeal. It we just keep pealing back the onion eventually you get to empty space. If you simplify your life down to the breath in and breath out mode it is always possible to survive and even have peace. That connects us back to the source where we can start over again. I look up from my desk and I see Jiminy Jenkins looking me right in the eye thanks to Chani. To the left of that painting is another where he is looking out the window of his home at the great big world outside and wishing for a friend. These pictures are on my Dream Board just below three post cards from Paris, an underwater photograph I took of a cluster of squid eggs that look like huge white mums and a photo of a living room with wrap around windows, a grand piano, a breakfast bar, sofas, chairs and a panoramic view of the ocean. Dreams. I see the picture of Kayden testing the sand with his red boot, Sariah and Christina in their sun glasses looking so glamorous and hear the drone of the fan on my hard drive, the click clack of my keyboard as I type and I am filled with wonder and gratitude for having this chance to live. In the background there is the trickle of water from the aquarium filter. White dove slumbers this morning though she usually coos at any sounds of life. She is missing her mate who passed away this month. His name was Seymore. It is the name he came with when Andie's cousin Bri gave him to us one time when we visited her in Poulsbo. He was quite the one to coo and he really liked when I played my guitar. He would always join in and sing along. He is passed as shall we all. No matter how well you play the game, no one gets out alive. Still, if you figure it out you realize there is no real death anyway, just transition. Perspective can make that more or less inviting depending on your point of view. I hear the stirring of a little boy and must go bid him good day and to you as well.
November 27th, 2008
Happy Thanksgiving to every one.
It is probably the best day to pick to apply to every other day.
A day of remembrance and gratitude for the many blessings we have.
A day to spend with family or let them be.
A day for a bit of reflection on the deeper meaning of life.
A day for being creative, making music, art or lending your eyes and ears to the wonder of melody and art. A day to dance. A day to drum. A day to pray.
A day to give thanks for being able to love no matter how much it hurts sometimes.
A day to give without seeking even a thank you.
A day of release; out with old and in with the new.
A day to loose the lock that keeps the freight car of past baggage, release it and get on with the only moment that is ever real; The present.
A day to glean through biting criticism for the pearl of wisdom it masks and to look for insight into the feelings behind it and ask what else could it mean?
A day to strive for friendship with the adults who were once in your care and referred to as your children. Roles often chain us to the past and often allow little room for acceptance and forgiveness. We are each whole and perfect in our own way. Thanksgiving and every other day is a day to see that in ourselves and to help others see it in themselves. A day to be human, and allow others to be human too, knowing we do the best we can at any given point in time. A day to choose joy. Happiness is a choice and the best way to be happy is for no reason at all. Life. That says nothing and says it all. Life in every breath. If I know you or not. If I have met you or not. I am grateful for each and every one of you and the chance we have to live and give and grow in this lifetime. Make each day of giving thanks.
November 22nd, 2008
It is incredible to think Sariah turned three just a few days ago. Time truly does fly. Kayden is in the studio pushing me around and taking over the space. I said no this is my space that I share. We called it a draw. I am typing and he is playing under the piano walking the little Buddha figure that Chani gave me several years ago up and up and down a volume pedal and talking away. He just say the picture of him at the beach and the picture of Christina and Sariah. Now he is clearing everything off my desk including a special cup that Sarah gave me. He needs it for a tunnel he said. Between the two of us we figured out how to open my mini disc case. He needs that too.
I spent a few hours last night cutting up a single track recording that Casey Garland sent me. It was one set and one very long song, the whole evening continuous. I got it all snipped down to 14 songs that I plan to mail back to him today. It was a very nice performance by Casey Garland and Elaine Skeffington in front of a very enthusiastic and adoring audience. I guess I spent about 4 hours going through the CD using Peak and my duct taped and rubber banded Powerbook. Now before I can really begin writing what I am feeling I have to go. C'est la vie.
November 15th, 2008
In the quiet of the morning, take time for reflection.
I watch pictures of Paris drift across the screen on the digital photo frame that Andie got me.
November 11th, 2008 Life is a moment so live while you're in it.
I got to go for a twilight jaunt outside with Kayden this evening. It is fun to go back to the creek as evening falls and it is getting dark. I am going to have to shore up the property this year and build a levy to stop all the flooding. Many people in the area around Snohomish have already been flooded. The river is amazingly high for as little rain as we have had. Little by Washington Standards that is. I am feeling a bit weary this evening. I loved being out in the fresh air today. The air is so cool and clean. I am learning about all these plants that bloom at different times of the year. Even fall and winter. I made my first mixed plant flower pot. It is beautiful and one plant (sorry not into the scientific name) is about to bloom. Who would have ever thought that I would turn out to be a dirt digger. It is spiritual and comforting somehow. It goes with everything else I have been learning about the power of being in the present moment. Being aware of al that is living and the sacredness of it all.
Kayden loved the old trampoline. I admit it beats the new one by far for soft bounce and size. It just has exposed springs and no fence. He developed his walking legs on that trampoline. We were wrestling today and he was trying to stomp me out of existence. His little legs are so strong. When we around the jump-o-line in the living room he yells "You can't catch me!" I really can't. He is three.
Time goes by. I still think about Randy as often as ever. Every time I go to call Sarah on my cell phone his number pops up. I don't have the heart to delete it. It is a way of holding on I guess.
We thought Dad was coming out for a visit and maybe a move but that has all changed. Now it looks like he is moving to Florida. You know the saying, no matter where you are, there you are. Some times in my life I have felt the need to get away from people I loved when I really wanted to get away from myself. Unfortunately I brought me a long. It took a lot of years to realize what was wrong with all the people in my world was me. Life is a strange trip at times. I have found myself thinking about my mother lately. Today I played my CD Blossoms while driving and I heard the song I wrote for her. You never now when you will be done so pay attention. Let the people you know you love them while they are here. I think they get busy fast on the other side of the veil and quickly leave the cares of this world behind.
November 10th, 2008
Say what you mean without saying it mean.
Honesty is such a lonely word. That is what Billy Joel said. Telling the truth is the best way to go because it is the truth. But truth is relative to the perspective of the individual. No one can know your mind the wise old sage once said. One can know that merciful silence can be a great gift. It opens the doors to the source and lets creativity flow.
Tonight at my dining room table Tim Noah sang Kayden a song. Unfortunately Tim got the same reception I do when I sing to Kayden. I just said Kayden Tim Noah is singing you a song! It was wonderful. Tim gave us two CD's and the wonderful classic Wild Wild Whibble Wuzzle Wuzzy Woodle Woo DVD. ( Which we watched right after he and Cindy left. I had been hoping to have some CD's ready for them but didn't make it happen so I will get some to them in the next few days. I am very excited about getting involved with the community and using music for the benefit of children. I think great things are going to come from this new friendship. (More later)
I am doing research on sleep depravation and have found something; I just can't remember what it is.
Chani and I are working on getting scans of the drawings for our first children's book. She and Steve are working on getting his scanner to work and I have a few other outlets as well. It is such a good feeling. It is truly amusing how as one sets out on a quest for abundance and riches they quickly cease to matter as wisdom sets in and shows that love, family, friends, community, work and play are true prosperity. Belonging. Never step on or cast aside some one who loves you. Forget about foreboding consequences. It is the ultimate absence of gratitude. As the young sage said, we are put here to learn how to be nice. That is why dogs have shorter lives, they learn that lesson a lot quicker. Thanks Jimmy.
Thanks to Justin Moore for his efforts on my behalf in entering three of my songs in " Song Wars." He has had some interesting things to say regarding my songs. It is always enjoyable to talk with someone who has a love for all kinds of music. I am grateful for every soul I have encountered who attempted to take off my blinders and help me see that God gave me these wonderful gifts to be shared, to give freely as they have been freely given. Must have sleep now.
I love you every body in the whole wide world.
I saw a bumper sticker yesterday that said: God bless every body in the whole world. No exceptions.
November 7th, 2008
Forty years ago today Sandy Johnston said she would go steady with me. It was in Augsburg Germany. The weather was much like it is here, gray, cold and over cast. I told myself I would remember that day forever and so I do every year I go it's November 7th. Now there is not much pondering I do. It is funny because I remembered tonight and then I remembered there was a German boy who was completely enamored with Sandy. He is probably a world renowned photographer these days because he took the most incredible picture of her cheer leading, I can still picture looking at the metal plates he gave her of the photo. It was amazing. She was a beautiful girl, long thick blond hair, blue eyes, full figure, junior class president and came from Kileen Texas. It is interesting because I remember so very few faces and names in all the many travels I have done. Doug Hamilton and I wrote a song called Tender Times about her. He was looking at my journal one night when we were rehearsing and saw an essay I had written about Sandy and he said we should make it a song and we did. Only a handful of people have ever heard it but it still makes me smile to think about it. I hope she is happy.
Life is strange. Doug said life is a funny thing, you learn as you try, isn't that the truth. I am weary to the bones tonight so I will call this good and say life is a moment, don't let it pass you by. I am thankful for my life, thankful for my wife and all my family.
I am doing much musing at this time.
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Greg Murat (mur-rah)