Greg Murat (mur-rah)
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Journal April 2010 Journal Archive Flash Poem Archive
April 14 , 2010
Reflecting and looking at my life from an outside perspective I shudder at some of the choices I have made. If I just look at people and situations and skip the rational behind my actions I am humbled. Once again the past is past but it seems to be popping up its head at this time and in many ways I feel like I am coming full circle back to where I started from so long ago. It makes me wonder. Would I undo it? The same side of me that passes judgment is the same side that would change the past, make different choices and go down different roads. It is wasted energy regarding the past but can be useful information when looking at the present. There can be many detours in life. The funny thing about those detours is that the detour can go on and on and on. Take lying for example. A person can have a really high set of values regarding the truth but a departure from those values in the form of lies can jade those values. Lies can get easier and easier and the truth can become quite elusive. Best to tell the truth then you don't have to remember what you said. Right? Isn't that how the saying goes? I feel the upheaval of so many relationships.
"Are we really happy in this lonely game we play?" Those are such powerful lyrics. There are two kinds of lonely: being alone and feeling the need to be with someone or being with someone and feeling alone. The second is better because you can either leave or make changes so the loneliness leaves. You can accept the emptiness and settle for it but that is not much of a choice. If you settle then you can become one of the many walking dead who continue breathing long after their spirit has died. You can walk away. You can work it out. You can come to a consensus.
It is so hard to write with a great big filter at my finger tips, like my day to day, there is so much I do not say. You can't write songs that way. You have to write what you feel, what you know, in the same you way you have to feel what you feel. This much I know..
April 12 , 2010
I need a change and I need it now.
Life baffles me sometimes.
April 3, 2010
Man it is cold this morning. It is 7:30 and Andie is sleeping. Kayden is really slipping in this morning. Poor Andie had a very rough night being sick from her gall bladder surgery. Was thinking we would be heading to the emergency room if it didn't get better. She resting now though. This pain has gone of for years so I am really looking forward to seeing her get to the other side of recovery and being her new self. She is amazing.
Between looking out for Andie and Kayden I have managed to keep typing out lyric sheets with chords to my songs. I am really making some headway and I am close to having a sheet for all the songs on this web site plus several more. It is great to have them for the benefit of my fellow musicians and creating them is also a good refresher for me on some of the songs.
Let Your Merry Go Heart was written by Doug Hamilton and myself I think in the mid '80's. It took awhile to conjure up the lyrics from my head. They aren't written down anywhere I can find. I do have an old cassette with a version of the tune for back up though. I am exercising my creativity completing some songs like Something's Gotta Happen, All the Time No Mo', and Good times. That is much more challenging than crafting a new song. I am the left side of stupid from lack of sleep but this too shall pass.
So let's see what is on my mind this pearl gray morning. It is darned cold and my toes feel frozen. I am making some ginger tea to help Andie's tummy settle. Just pulled the blankets up around Kayden and see he is sleeping soundly still so I am about to continuing making song maps.
A quick up date; Freedom (Aaron) is enjoying some time with just he and Anjali in Santa Rosa, Sarah Maria is busy with graduate school in NYC. Josh is in Ojai with Christian and Sariah and continues to send me cool samples of instrumental pieces he writes. Chani just moved again and is looking forward to traveling this summer. She is in Seattle still but is looking at California or Oregon as possibilities. Liz is in Everett and we don't get see her much as she is busy with her life. Kayden is going to be 5 in June. He was at school yesterday and it was the first time we could remember being alone at home together in the last several years. Of course Andie was in terrible pain, nauseated and medicated so it wasn't our most quality time but we made note of it just the same.
Typically music is way down here. I will be posting some dates on the calendar. Kayden is up now and Andie's tea is steeping so I may call this short for now. We will see. I am practicing more than ever. I have met a guitarist named Rich Rorex who is schooled in both jazz and classical guitar so he has given me information that has really got my brain working, 12 positions and fingerings for a C major 7th and a guide that explains there are 228 variations of chords based on C major. What? It is fun after all these years to begin to understand how they all come together and find new ways of voicing a chord. I will be doing a duet with Rich at the Leatherneck in Standwood on April 16th Friday night, 6:30 to 9:30. He is also doing a show with Jimmy Culler, Mike Daily and I at Tulalip on the 23rd of April. Canseda Beach will be playing at the Edmonds Art Festival on June 5, Saturday noon until 1:30 with Ron Llinas on vocals and guitar, Jimmy Culler on vocals and bass and me on guitar and vocals. I have such an array of songs each group of musicians takes a different slant and even choice of tunes. I miss John Matthews playing percussion and I hope to have some space and budget on some venues to be able to play together again soon. I love when Ron, Jimmy, Mike and I are all singing harmony on a song. I love the jazz flavor adds to songs that were crafted for that. I love the spirit of all my friends and look forward to making music for many years to come. Still, just in case, I am going to get all these guide sheets done asap. So welcome to April, no fooling.
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Greg Murat (mur-rah)